


Time After Time

by His_Beautiful_Girl



Series: LoVe Will Always Prevail [1]
Category: Veronica Mars (TV), Veronica Mars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Child Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Season/Series 01, Rape Recovery, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:47:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 32,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23791045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/His_Beautiful_Girl/pseuds/His_Beautiful_Girl
Summary: Forget almost everything you know about Veronica Mars because I'm about to take it all, shake it up and re-do it. Some canon still stands but there will be new mysteries and when canon mysteries are used, new twist and turns and endings. More importantly, issues are going to be dealt with so that our favorite characters can have a chance at a healthy life. And above all, this is about LoVe, LoVe, LoVe. Fair warning, I'm not a Duncan fan. There will be no getting back together and well... he's not the golden boy he seems.
Relationships: Logan Echolls/Veronica Mars
Series: LoVe Will Always Prevail [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1713964
Comments: 71
Kudos: 95





	1. Full of Grace

**Author's Note:**

> TW:Canon Abuse  
> TW: Suicidal Thoughts and Attempt  
> TW: Canon Sexual Assault (No graphic account of it)
> 
> Please make sure you look and pay attention to the warnings for this story. While my intention is to completely turn Veronica Mars on it’s head going back and starting with season one, it has a dark beginning because we’re going to deal with things. They aren’t going to just push aside things in my story but dealt with, the upside to this is healthy relationships, LoVe, LoVe, LoVe, and a major change throughout the whole universe. This story goes canon divergent from the beginning. We’re starting from the morning after Shelly Pomeroy’s party. 
> 
> I’m not just rehashing everything though, while Lilly’s murder is still the arc of this first story, not all the little mysteries will stay the same. I have new mysteries and when I do use ones from the show, there will be twists and different endings to things. With all this said, I hope that you’ll enjoy this journey with me as I flip Veronica Mars upside down and fix the things I think need fixing as well as giving our favorite couple a happier, healthier journey in LoVe.
> 
> It's also incredibly important to remember, especially in these earlier chapters that when you are reading from Veronica's point of view, she has the thoughts and feelings of a sexual assault victim. And unfortunately and heartbreakingly, many victims feel shame and responsibility. I want to stress that there is NOTHING to be ashamed of, NOTHING and it's not their fault. But if I'm doing this realistically than I need to give you the insight of what victims go through and think. With Logan, you're seeing and hearing the results of a victim of years of abuse. Again, there is nothing to be ASHAMED of, nor is it their fault but that isn't how they think.
> 
> Many many thanks and much love to my beta Saoirse Konstantin for her encouragement and work in helping me get this chapter ready to post. Love you sister of mine.
> 
> -HBG

**Cover Art by the amazing Alina**

**_Time After Time_ **

_By:His_Beauituful Girl_

**_Chapter One: Full Of Grace_ **

**_December 7, 2003_ **

**_Veronica_ **

Someone inside her brain was hitting a snare drum repeatedly, her tongue was huge and like sandpaper, stomach rolling and dropping makes Veronica moan while heavy eyes struggle to open. With an urgent push, rolling onto her side to dry-heaving over the side of the bed. A confused mind tries to process what is happening and where she is. A violent shudder, bile rises, stomach clenches and releases with an attempt to get something- anything out, but there is nothing to expel. Heart pounds, and breaths come hard. Things settle a little, though her body protests being awake. Eyes glimpse around the unfamiliar bedroom, now streaming with too bright sunlight. Confused and jumbled thoughts. Nothing coherent or strung together, only flashes like puzzle pieces.

Shelly’s party last night.

  
  


A drink handed to her and deciding some liquid courage would help. Downing the rum and coke.

  
  


The stares of hatred. Whispers everywhere. 

  
  


Tired and sick, dizzy, like she would float away.

  
  


The pool lounger, hoping a rest for a bit would make things better.

  
  


Desire to go home. Words that begged to go home.

  
  


Nothing- blackness. 

  
  


Stomach twists and clenches tight again. A low whimper escapes while pain grips from the inside. _‘Get out of here. Get home. Home is safe.’_ The petite teenager’s battered body protests when pushing herself up to sit. More so, when trying to adjust to move feet onto the floor. It's then that her brain comprehends she's nude. Horrified, the evidence comes into eyesight. The beautiful white dress bought with pride and excitement. The one she thought was pretty in while looking in the mirror, lay crumpled near the foot of the bed. Skirt stained with spots of blood, shoulder straps ripped. Eyes sting making it a challenge to see and even more difficult to take stock as limbs tremble. To catalog the bruises that litter the pale skin of arms and thighs and ankles. More aware now of the ache between her legs, spotting traces of blood on the inner thighs. Breaths grow faster, gasping. Unable to bring air into lungs or expel it. Light-headed, black spots sprinkling her vision. Things don’t appear altogether real. Heart pounds so loud- the only sound heard; so hard she thinks it might break ribs. Unable to stop staring at the evidence. Ripped panties, torn from her body, on the floor. A low howl breaks free, followed by dry hard continuous cries.

_Raped._

_Violated._

Hot, shameful tears fall in an unbroken stream while she struggles to stifle the loud cries before someone hears. Veronica moves, limbs agitated and clumsy. Lips curl, eyes narrow and a low sound comes out while putting the soiled dress back on. With broken straps it doesn’t stay up, so she ties the torn pieces of fabric halter style. Eyes scan the room before spotting the hoodie hanging on a chair. Hands shake grabbing the piece of clothing, trying not to fumble while pulling it on fast and zipping it up all the way before tugging on the hood, pulling the material over her head. With slow swings back and forth, Veronica scans for her shoes but can’t find them. Unable to stay here any longer to look. Mind screaming to _‘GET OUT!, LEAVE!’_

  
  


Teeth gnaw on a bottom lip until the taste of blood floods her mouth, gaze swings to look at the door and back to the window. The room is on the first floor. There will be people outside the door. People she doesn’t want to see. The same people who hate her. The person who did this might still be out there. A split moment and she decides, throwing up the windowpane. With slow, deliberate movements, swinging one leg over the sill, followed by the other before dropping to the grass. A bite to her raw bottom lip to keep silent when she wants to scream and pain racks her body. Once clear of the house, running to the Le Baron, not processing the “ **SLUT** ” and “ **Abel, it should have been her** ” written on it. The thing the mind remembers is that she doesn’t have her purse or keys. Feet run along the pavement, no sense of irritation, no care about the danger of running barefoot. Brain shrieking to get home and telling no one what has happened. Despite what her father instilled while growing up, going to the police would do nothing. Lamb hates the Mars family as much as anyone in this town. He’d laugh her out of the office or worse yet, tell Keith. 

  
  


An hour later, panting and struggling to stand, Veronica uses the spare key hidden in a rock to let herself into the house. Home for another two weeks, then her and dad are supposed to move into the small two-bedroom apartment. Grateful her father is out chasing a bail jumper and isn’t due home for at least two more days, she closes the door, throwing the deadbolt. Hard breaths have her drifting through the house, weaving around packed boxes, to make the way to the bedroom she grew up in. Once the door is closed, she strips off the hoodie and dress and leaves the offending clothing in a pile to deal with later. Veronica grabs the soft pink robe and with slow steps, makes her way to the bathroom turning the water on in the shower as hot as possible. 

  
  


Turns to hang the robe up before stepping into the spray and it doesn’t register that the water is burning delicate skin. The water needs to be scalding to scrub this away. A dirty, tangible perception that covers the entirety of her body, and possibly her heart and soul too. Hands snatch the sponge and squeeze half a bottle of body wash onto it before scrubbing until skin is raw to the touch. Normal skin that is pale now, bright pink, almost bordering on red. Tears fall like rain, broken sobs claw out from her throat. Time stops, loses meaning while in the shower. By the time reality breaks through again, Veronica finds that she is curled in the fetal position shaking from the shower-head's icy water pouring down. 

Hands struggle to reach up and turn the dial off. Legs like Jell-O, bracing hands on the wall to stand, and then pulling herself out of the shower. Even the plushness of the robe abrasive to skin when putting it on. Body stumbles back into the bedroom, finding the strength to pull on a pair of underwear, sweats and the largest sweatshirt in the closet. In the kitchen she grabs a garbage bag to stuff the dress and hoodie into. Once that chore is complete, Veronica goes back to the bedroom and falls into bed. Like a six-years-old, pulling the covers over her head and curling up small despite the pain it causes, muscles screaming in protest, skin throbbing. Lungs ache as cries burst forth and she remembers being little and having nightmares; protecting herself from the monsters hiding in the room by disappearing under the blankets, But today- there can be no protection from the monsters. They invaded her body and mind, broke her spirit, and Veronica weeps for her lost innocence. This person stole away the bit of world that remained after Lilly died. The exhaustion is crushing. She loses consciousness and falls into a deep sleep.

  
  
  


When awakening, a hopeful moment, _‘What a horrible nightmare!’_ Soon, reality breaks through the sleepiness and she realizes that it wasn’t a nightmare, but a true event. The blankness making up last night is haunting. Not sure she wants to remember, but not knowing is worse. For a moment she floats above, looking down on the bed, at the shaking mound of blankets. One moment where she’s filled with compassion for this poor broken soul before being slammed back into her body. Horror flooding her mind, the realization that she _is_ the broken soul. Loud, hysterical sobs echo in the room, muffled only by the blankets. For hours the sound echoes through the house. Tears stream to make tracks down cheeks, soaking into the collar of the sweatshirt. 

Night has taken over when she finally emerges from beneath the covers. Blackness, hollowness, hopelessness, emptiness make up her world. _‘Would it help to tell someone? NO!’_ She won’t report it. Nobody would accept the story anyway and on the chance they did, any evidence there may have been, she destroyed hours ago in the shower. She can’t tell her dad, it would be too much for him, and there’s nothing he can do. Veronica doesn’t want Keith to end up in jail. Eyes look up at the ceiling, thoughts of school emerge. Images of having to walk down the hallways passing by this rapist. _‘Was there one or were there more? I get that they hate me, but enough to do this?’ Would she have to interact, to talk with her rapist? Would he attack again?'_

Arms wrap around a pillow, like a child holding a stuffed animal. Tears fall through puffy eyes. Voice harsh and hoarse, “Lilly, why aren’t you here? Especially when you’re needed so badly right now. I’m lost without you. I- I’m not strong enough, Lilly, you know I can’t do this. The town turning on Dad and me. Logan turning on me. That was bad, but I thought I could get through it. But last night they proved how much they hate us, hate me. How do I stay, knowing how much they hate us- hate me? I’m so alone, please come back. Why did you leave?”

The heartbroken young woman cries until tears run dry again. Unable to breathe through the stuffed nose and eyes appearing blackened and swollen almost shut. Who cares about looks? The only thought running on repeat is that she doesn’t want to be here. Doesn’t want to exist anymore. She wishes to go to sleep, not wake up again. Doesn’t want this pain, both physical and emotional. Only wants her best friend because if Lilly were here, things would be okay. These thoughts lead deeper and deeper into that rabbit hole until she’s drowning, chest heaving while oxygen struggles to make its way in and out of the lungs. 

All at once- she sees it. A way to fix this. To end this. To be with Lilly. It’s so simple she can’t understand why the solution was so hidden before. She doesn’t have to stay where she’s not wanted, where people want to hurt her. She can go be with Lilly, be in that safe place with her best friend.

Hands swipe away remaining tears. Veronica sits up, releases an unsteady breath and gathering some courage gets out of bed. With slow movements, Veronica makes it to the desk and sits down, opening a notebook and grabbing a pen. There is knowledge this will hurt Keith, and she hates that. But, with nothing tying him to Neptune, he can be free. Go somewhere new. Start over. It will be best for them both…

  
  


**Daddy,**

**This will shock and hurt you and I’m sorry for that. I’ve thought about it and this is best for both of us. We both need to be free. You can go anywhere now. Start over, put all of this pain behind you. Dad, you deserved none of this. Not what Jake Kane, or the town, did to you. I have faith and if you say that the official story isn’t what happened; I believe it.**

**I’m sorry, this decision will hurt you but you’ll heal and move forward. You’ll move on to better things. Mom isn’t coming back, that’s obvious now, and I don’t want to be a burden to you anymore, something holding you back. You should know that nothing you have done led me to this. You have always been an amazing father and the best daddy any girl could ask for. Thank you for loving me, and for being the one that stayed to take care of me, for being the hero. I’ll be okay, I will be with Lilly and will watch over you like your own guardian angel.**

**I love you always, please forgive me.**

**Veronica**

  
  
  


Fingers trembling, the petite blond sets the pen down and reads over the letter, knowing there is nothing more to add, leaves it on the desk where her father will find it. A look at the alarm clock on the nightstand reveals the time to be 4:00 AM; she’ll wait until 5:00 to see the hint of the sunrise at the end. A sore back protests while getting up from the desk chair but once standing she makes her way around the room tidying, wanting it to be neat and clean. It’s a struggle to make the bed, but the task gets finished. A shaky breath rattles her frame. Eyes take one last look around the room, nodding in satisfaction, she heads to the kitchen. 

Tremors run along her spine, from fear or because of something else Veronica isn’t sure but, having now decided on how to proceed, having a plan, there is comfort. A step stool aids in getting to the cabinet above the refrigerator where what little liquor in the house is located. Fingers just able to reach a bottle of unopened Jack Daniels, pulling it forward and out before getting down. A few steps lead to the door and she slips her shoes on. She makes sure the door is locked behind her and begins the walk to the Beach. 

Body quivering from the early morning cold, even in the heavy sweats, Veronica sits down in the sand and opens the bottle. Not wanting to get drunk per se, just wants to make sure she’s not in a condition for her body to fight for survival. This is the solution. With a tilting back of her head, she chugs the liquid quickly, knowing that the alcohol will hit fast. Coughing when Jack Daniels burns down her throat. So focused and determined to carry out this plan, she doesn’t notice the other person sitting further along the beach, a surfboard in the sand. Nor does she spot the young man watching while she finishes half the bottle of whiskey before slamming the bottle down into the sand. Lost in a world of trouble waiting for the alcohol to hit.

When her body begins to rock side to side, mind growing dull, she knows it’s time. The weight from the sweats will help when water soaks into the thick cotton, but she wonders if she should have collected rocks too. Doesn’t matter. All she has to do is get deep enough. The ocean will do the rest. 

“I’m coming Lilly!” Voice raspy and thick shouted into the morning air. Veronica rises unsteadily, leaving the bottle in the sand and walking toward the ocean. A bite of a lip to hold back the hiss as the cold water soaks through tennis shoes. Not enough to stop or sober the persistent girl; she keeps going. Tears fall while the sweatpants become soaked and what fills a tormented and confused mind is the promise of the sweet release of freedom. To be able to hug Lilly, laughing with Lilly, escaping Neptune. Deeper, wading into the ocean until just able to keep her face above water. One last breath, releasing it before letting the ocean sweep over now, eyes closing, ready to sleep and not wake up ever again.

  
  
  
  
  


**Time After Time**

**_Logan_ **

While sitting on the beach, knees bent, feet flat on the sand, arms wrapped around legs, Logan’s forehead rests down against the knees. A surfboard sticks in the sand nearby. Too early for the dawn surf but unable to sleep, he hoped the waves might help calm the twisting of his gut and the chaos that makes up his brain at the moment. While he had left the party with that blond freshman last night, nothing happened. That hadn’t been the initial plan, but after Veronica Mars showed up at Shelly’s and what he had done, there was no desire to follow through with the freshman. This was nagging and pissing him off.

_‘That bitch betrayed our friendship and the Kanes. How dare she show up? Deserved to be a salt lick… didn’t she? Why can’t I just hate the two-faced snake? Why do I have to miss- No, don’t think about that. That’s preposterous, you’re not missing Veronica Mars!’_ The discussion continues in his brain, _‘At least that GHB got left at home last night. That could have made for an even worse night had that shit got brought to the party.’_

Something catches the tired boy’s attention, he lifts his head, looking around. There is a tiny figure down the beach. Wide eyes watch when she sits down and opens a bottle of something. With a head tilt, the female figure downs the liquid as if at a party. His body leans forward, as if this will bring more clarity when his mind jolts. _‘There’s only one person who is that small. What the hell is Veronica Mars doing here on the beach at this hour? What and why is she drinking? Mars doesn’t drink like that, she barely drinks. That can’t be Veronica, can it? Is it not possible to escape Veronica fucking Mars for one fucking minute?’_

Despite not wanting to watch, the scene mesmerizes the stunned young man. Veronica continues to drink from the bottle. The sound of coughing carries on the wind while the small blond appears to choke down the liquid. Light pierces the sky as the sun bursts over the horizon, a hand lifts to shade wide eyes. Frozen and watching the enemy- (friend?) shout something then stand and start stumbling to the ocean. _‘What the hell?’_

Brown eyes narrow, stomach drops and heart pounds while observing the girl walk deeper into the water. Logan doesn’t realize he’s standing or then running to the cold water. Still dressed while quickly realizing that his enemy-friend can’t keep her head above water. When Veronica goes under, the tall framed boy’s body shakes and moves quickly into the waves. Heart pounds against ribs, shouting when she doesn’t come up. In an instant, diving into the icy water. Body slicing through the water in smooth strokes from years of surfing and battling the waves, able to reach the petite blond in a scant time. With a plunge under the water, hands flair around for something, anything that might be Veronica but come up empty. Lung burning, he’s sure they’ll explode and has to come up for air.

A scream breaks into the early morning, “NO- No! I can’t lose someone else! ‘Ronica? Veronica!” Logan dives under the water again, hands grabbing while eyes struggle to see through the murky water. Fingertips suddenly grasp some kind of material and pull, yanking a small body to his and then pushing up toward the surface. With a harsh gasp he breaks the water surface, panting for breath, bringing Veronica with. The blond’s blue eyes are closed and there isn’t a sign of breathing, body limp in his grasp. With the last ounce of strength Logan makes his way to shallower waters, to the shore.

Once feet can find purchase, he stands, arms swooping to carrying Veronica to the shore. With all the gentleness he has, he lays the small woman down and tilts her head back like he learned in a surfing class long ago. A deep breath, placing large hands to a small chest and interlocking fingers to begin thirty compressions, hearing a slight crack that makes him wince and moan. The same moan let out when he can’t take anymore from the belt Aaron is swinging. After the compressions are complete, his mouth fits over hers while two breaths get pushed breath into the petite body then beginning thirty compressing again. “Come on Ronnie, come on!” On the fifteenth compression, something finally happens.

Logan wants to weep, to shout when Veronica takes a breath. She sputters and begins coughing. With care, he rolls Veronica on her side while she vomits water and alcohol; hand moving on her back in circles, holding back hair and whispering with encouraging words. The ragged and painful sounding breath is hard to listen to but the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard. The sound means she’s alive. After what seems like hours, Veronica wrenches away. As they both stand. Logan’s shoulders slumping, lips dropping in a frown and head hanging low. Then brown eyes widen and he is taking a step back, hands coming up while she’s flying toward him to pummel against his chest with small fists.

“Why did you do that? Why did you save me? I want to be with Lilly? Can’t you let me be? I’ll disappear and you won’t have to deal with me anymore, just let me die! Isn’t that what you want, anyway?” Veronica’s shrill and harsh voice hurts his ears. The words, however, are like Aaron’s punches to the solar plexus and a hand moves to cover there, expecting tenderness and pain. 

“You- what? You were trying to-” His body folds into itself, shoulders coming together similar to a standing version of the fetal position while he struggles to comprehend the words while also trying to prevent any more hits. Logan was sure he had broken when Lilly died, but no. Something deep inside, the part allowing him to hold himself together these past couple months snaps, he can feel it, a thread finally breaking, the final thread holding him together and he sobs, screaming back. “No, no- Veronica no, you can’t die. I need you! Please don’t do this! Why would you want to die?”

The girl goes silent with wide eyes, stops her attack and stills. When she speaks again, the voice is monotone. “What do you mean why? How many more times should I let you hurt me? The names, the rumors, the pranks. Wasn’t rape enough? I get it now, I won’t fight you anymore. I understand how much you hate me. Please, let me die, let me be with Lilly.”

If Veronica admitting she had been trying to take her life was bad, it was nothing compared to this. Logan’s body goes stiff, eyes widen, mouth hanging open. Only able to stare at the girl he considered his enemy only a half an hour ago in disbelief. “What? What did you say?” Logan’s voice shakes. There’s a struggle to swallow, a lump in the throat that won’t move, stomach rolling in nausea. He turns away fast to vomit onto the sand, falling on his hands and knees.

Both teenagers shiver in soaked clothes. Cold water clings stubbornly to skin and wind whips around, kicking up sand and surf. The only sounds are of Logan emptying a twisting, painful stomach and Veronica’s sharp, harsh crying. When Logan’s stomach finishes, he stands and wipes his mouth with the back of a hand, wishing for a bottle of water to rinse his mouth with. There is one by where the surfboard stands, only a few yards away, but he can’t leave Veronica. Too terrified that she’ll try again. Just wanting to wrap his arms around the frail, shivering girl and never let go. Thoughts run through his brain like a locomotive as the entire world flips upside down again, feelings ignored now demand attention.

_‘A jackass, a bastard, an asshole who treated her like a punching bag and for what reason? Do I hate her? Veronica used to be my best friend. If I’m honest, I want that back. I miss it, our friendship, so much it aches. My fault, oh, fuck- my fault. I made it okay to hurt her, but never meant… would never be okay with… hurting anyone like this.’_

Words spill out, running together while he purges a broken heart, hands gesturing wildly and tries to fix what he broke. “Oh God, Ronnie, no, please! I’m so sorry. I’ve been such an asshole. Please, I didn’t do this! Would never- but it’s my fault because I declared open season. Couldn’t imagine that anyone would- could do this.” The tall boy doubles over retching again, stomach heaving, trying to bring up what isn’t there. “I’ve been so stupid! How could I do this? How did this get so fucked up? When did this all go so wrong?”

  
  


The words spoken from the shaking blond minutes ago wrought with desperation and anger despite the fact they were spoken in monotone hang in the air. She stares with enormous eyes, a hand covering her mouth. The cold water dripping from long blond hair down, soaking through the already wet clothes and shivering while listening to Logan’s words. He turns away, trembling, red faced and hunching over, wrapping arms around a broad chest, unable to keep her gaze.

  
  


A soft voice as if coaxing a scared animal carries on the wind. “Logan, come back to my house. Take a hot shower and change out of those wet clothes. You’ll get sick if you stay like this.” Trembling hand reaches out and touches his shoulder and then snatches back. “There’s still a change of clothes in the X-terra, right? I mean- or you can go home but you can’t stay here on the beach like this.” 

Logan turns, brown eyes gazing into blue, before dropping to the sand, tears running down tanned cheeks. “So sorry, ‘Ronica. I don’t deserve kindness.” 

A blond head shakes from side to side slowly, “Not- Not you. Shouldn’t have said that, I need to learn to think first, speak second sometimes. Saw you leave with that girl, you weren’t there when… unless you came back, but I’ve never seen that before. And you wouldn’t do that to a girl. Never be okay- Even with the way you’ve been acting, that isn’t your character. Please, let me help. I don’t want you to get sick. Lilly wouldn’t want us to fight.”

The sweet, soft voice breaks through, but the words don’t all register. Only that she knows Logan isn’t the bastard that had committed this heinous act. The heart beating in his chest is heavy, as if the thing weighs a thousand pounds with guilt and remorse. While he didn’t commit the act, the battle Logan waged gave the asshole a sense of entitlement to commit the crime. Logan’s chest is painfully tight, it’s difficult to remember to breathe, he’s pushing words out and she’ll believe him. “I’m sorry for so much more than that, V’ronica. For turning on you. I tried to make... god it’s your family how could you not choose… I was wrong, fuck, so wrong. Been such a jackass. I miss you so much, I miss my best friend. I’m so sorry for treating you the way I have. And now, I’ve ruined the best thing I’ll ever have because I’m because I’m too stupid to do anything else!”

Veronica hugs herself gently, “Logan, I forgive you, it’s okay. I mean, it’s not okay. What you did isn’t okay but- I get it. Believe it or not, I understand the anger and pain. I don’t hate you and you’re not stupid, don’t say that. That’s Aaron Echolls talking, never listen to that idiot.”

Logan stares, body numb and stuck to the spot, mind unable to wrap around the words. Then before thought catches up with the action he takes the two steps to close the distance Wrapping strong arms around her in a tight hug, the hug he’s missed giving every day of this stupid war he started. Veronica squirms, fighting to get away even though his arms release immediately. Eyes sting and blink away tears, watching her struggling _. ‘Afraid of him?’_ The delicate body sways and she’s breathing fast- too fast. Teeth biting his bottom lip, mind whirls, trying to come up with a plan for if she faints. Touch is not an option. Tries to recall how his mom copes with panic attacks, words babbling forth, desperate to help Veronica.

“It’s okay. You’re safe. This is a panic attack. Breathe, Ronnie. Look at me, breathe like I am.” Logan takes exaggerated breaths, in through the nose and out through the mouth. Veronica struggles to copy, body fighting for oxygen. “‘Ronica, I won’t hurt you, never again. Nobody will, I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again; you’re safe. Just like before all of this, I’ll keep you safe, I swear.” 

Veronica’s breaths regulate, though the petite body continues to sway. Logan wraps an arm around small shoulders gently, ready to pull back the moment there is a sign of discomfort or fear. Strength seems to have fled and left the small woman shaking so hard, teeth rattling. She sags against him. The realization that he needs to get her warm is instantaneous. “Come on, Veronica, let’s go home, okay?”

Veronica nods as if on automatic, voice flat. “Yes, I need to go there. Logan, you need to take a hot shower and warm up, change clothes. Something hot to eat to warm up the inside too.” While continuing to talk, it’s mumbling now, and he strains to hear over the ocean. “Take care of Logan. Then finish the plan. Go join Lilly. Lilly would want me to take care of Logan first.”

Logan bites his bottom lip again, eyes stinging with unshed tears. _‘At least she agreed and won’t put up a fight. Get her home, warmed up, and help her. Can’t let her do this. Need her here, she doesn’t belong with Lilly, belongs with me.’_ Keeping an arm around blond’s shoulders, guiding her to the X-terra and helping her up into the passenger seat before closing the truck door. He makes a run quickly back to the beach to grab his board, bringing it back and strapping to the roof before making his way around to the driver’s side. A quiet sigh escapes as he climbs in and starts the truck, turning up the heat to high before making the brief drive to the Mars residence. 

Once there, there’s a quick grab of the duffel bag holding a change of clothes kept for when surfing before helping Veronica out of the car. Logan gives an arm for her to hold on to, tries to offer support in case she passes out while walking to the front door. A heaviness in the pit of his stomach, an urge to move, to tap fingers, bounce a leg is overwhelming. “Um- is the sheriff here?”

Veronica shakes her head, voice quiet, “Not the sheriff anymore and no, out chasing a bail jumper, won’t be back for a few days. Logan, it’s all right. Please come in and get warmed up.” Those beautiful blue eyes usually full of life and a hint of mischief, lack any sparkle and are flat when her gaze finds his briefly. Logan’s heart aches, missing the warmth he always found in there. 

  
  


“Okay, I was just checking.”

She nods in return and tries to unlock the door, hands shaking so hard the key keeps missing until Logan wraps a larger, steadier hand around the more soft, delicate one to guide it. With the help, the door opens quickly. The house is cold and empty as the teenagers step inside. Both are glad for the latter. Veronica guides Logan back toward the bathroom in the hall, but he can’t miss all the packing boxes. Without a word, she gets a large fluffy towel, setting it on the bathroom counter and making sure he has everything needed before leaving the bathroom with instruction to shower. After trying to argue that she should shower first and losing, Logan resolves to take a quick shower. 

The tall brunette showers in record time, standing under the water long enough to rinse off and wash his hair. While drying off and shivering, he finds that he‘s glad for the pair of sweats in the duffel bag along with the hoodie. Dresses in a hurry before exiting the bathroom. The house is silent, and a chill runs down his spine. _‘Had Veronica done something while he was in the shower?’_ Heart clenching, voice breaking, “Veronica?”

“In here” a small, quiet voice comes from the bedroom and he quickens his steps to find her. She’s sitting at the desk in her bedroom, staring at a picture of the fab four, the night of the limo party. With a look up, “Finished? I’ll make something hot to eat before you head home, okay? Need to warm up the insides too.”

_‘Before he heads home? Does she imagine that he‘ll leave after what has happened? Assume he isn’t aware that she is still contemplating other ways to-?’_ Logan takes and lets out a shaky breath slowly, unable to complete the thought. Won’t do to start a fight. This requires treading with careful footing. “Something hot to eat sounds great. Should I order something while you shower? Pizza or Luigi’s? Chinese? Whatever you want, Ronnie.”

Veronica shakes her head, “No, won’t be the same as something homey. Won’t warm you up the same way. Like when you’re sick and only something your mom cooks can make it better.” 

Logan nods that concept isn’t something he’s ever experienced. Nannies when he was little or the housekeeper when older were the ones that prepared his food. If sick, he stays in bed until better, nobody bothers to check on him. However, Veronica seems determined so he won’t fight her. This will buy some time, maybe get her talking. Get her to accept him being here. “That would be nice, thanks. How about taking a shower first so we’re both nice and warm? It would make me more comfortable, at ease.” With effort, trying to use what he hopes is a coaxing but not patronizing voice, keeping it low.

Veronica sighs and concedes, “Okay, if it will give you peace of mind, I’ll shower first. You get under the blankets, get warm.” With a hand gesture toward the made bed to emphasize the words. “Fall asleep if you want. Be back soon,” A quiet groan escapes her lips when she stands and collects clothing from drawers before heading to the bathroom. 

Logan hears the water start and sighs in relief. After a few moments, he takes her up on the offer, shivers running through his body and his limbs are so heavy. With a sigh, sliding under the warm blankets and lying down, closing drowsy eyes while Veronica’s scent floats and wraps around him. _‘So stupid to turn on his ‘Ronica. Has to make it up to her, repair the damage done. No matter what, not leaving tonight or tomorrow and won’t leave until it’s safe to do so. She’s his to protect. She always has been. How had he forgotten that? Duncan had some protective instincts back in the age of the golden couple, but it was always Logan that had done the protecting. Time to remember and protect again, should have never stopped. Time to help her. Find the son of a bitch who did this. Make sure he pays. Still pissed at Lilly, but won’t take it out on Veronica anymore.’_ Thoughts drifting, sweet sleep calling to him he starts to succumb. With a sudden jerk back to reality, he hears the shower turn off. 

The silence has him scrambling to sit up on the bed and wait while contemplating what else they can do tonight. Options that won’t lead to him being pushed out the door. Movies? A movie marathon could work, she‘ll fall asleep two movies in like normal. And he can watch over and protect her, make sure she doesn’t wake up and do anything harmful. A heavy sigh escapes with the thought he should call someone, but who? Aaron and his mom are useless and all the other parents are just as incompetent. The police are pointless. Also, calling the cops will piss Veronica off. Who knows what she will do if that happens. This isn’t his secret to tell, it’s hers, so the police aren’t a viable option, anyway. Mr. Mars seems like the logical choice, even though that thought causes his stomach to cramp painfully. _‘How much has Veronica told her dad about what I’ve done, we’ve done, these last couple months?’_ There didn’t seem to be any numbers to reach him in the other rooms earlier. After Veronica falls asleep, there will be time to look around more. 

The gruesome sound of retching comes from the bathroom and Logan cringes, stomach twisting in sympathy, knowing what that experience is like. Yes, his body might hold liquor better, but it didn’t mean he doesn’t go beyond the limits all the time. The half-empty handle of Jack hadn’t escaped his notice on the beach as well as the understanding of why she had drunk the liquor. She didn’t want her body to be capable of, or want to survive when the waves started taking her under. Didn’t want the survival instinct to kick in or, should it, be able to kick in with full force. Hands come up to swipe with force at the tears dripping. The other words said on the beach come back to haunt him. “... Wasn’t raping me enough?” _‘Who could have done this sick and twisted act?’_ Fists clench and release on repeat. Never would have he been okay hurting a girl- or any person like that! Someone will pay and with his own hands, he’ll kill them for this!’ Red tints his vision while he ruminates on _his_ Veronica being violated like this. 

  
  


“Your Veronica? That’s rich coming from you! Haven’t you been the one tormenting her, leading the pack, making up the most outlandish and disgusting rumors and passing them around school?” Lilly’s voice taunts these questions, tone dripping with disappointment and contempt. Logan is certain now that he’s deserved every punishment Aaron has ever given him. Contemplates that he should go do something guaranteed to get Aaron’s wrath. Another lashing of the belt. But even that won’t ever be enough to atone for his sins. 

A suspicion invades his mind, his chest tightens and body fighting for the oxygen, _‘Veronica had been a virgin.’_ Logan is positive that she and Duncan had never even gotten to third base. Not only that, he knew without a doubt that she hadn’t been with a guy since Duncan. Face tingling, lungs struggling for air but the hard lump in his throat is too big to swallow around, tears stream down his cheeks but he can’t even sob. Everything seems very far away, like looking through a pinhole.

“Logan? Oh, Logan, come on, it’s okay. Breathe Lo', please breathe” The voice sounds tinny. Veronica helps him to sit up and pushes his head down between his knees, rubbing his back. “Whatever it is, it will be okay. But you have to breathe.” She takes exaggerated breaths in and out so he could hear them. The small hand moves up and down along his spine. Logan mimics her, first with scant breaths but then with longer ones until they even out. The tinny voice now sounds normal, soft and warm but hoarse and dry. The room comes back into focus.

What he wants to do is wrap his arms around his friend-former enemy and reassure himself that she‘s here for real. But knows that Ronnie might react negatively to touch like before. Unsure how she will react to touch like that given what has happened and also because of the treatment of these last couple months. Part of him wants to ask her to confirm his belief, but doesn’t need to. Already knows the answer. They had taken her innocence in an act of violence. A part wants to ask more questions, uncover something to find this bastard. But again realizes this is not the time. Veronica is already on edge and determined to go through with her plan for the time being.

“Better?” The soft, sweet voice startles him out of these deliberations and he gives a nod, sitting back up straight.

Voice gravelly and unsteady, “Yes, thanks. Sorry about that.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about. Do you want to talk about it?” A shake of his head and she continues, “Okay, I‘ll go make something to eat to warm up before you head for home, okay?” So he was right, she’s planning on getting him out of here and continuing with the plans. _'That won’t be happening.'_

“Food- food sounds excellent.” Food is the last thing he wants, but it’ll buy some time, and he can bring up the movie marathon. Once she falls asleep, he’ll find Mr. Mars’ phone number. Logan has no intention of leaving, but the more help, the better. 

“Why don’t you- splash some water on your face and meet me in the kitchen.” Veronica steps away, wrapping her arms around her small body before turning and hurrying off. 

Logan rises from the bed at a snail’s pace and heads to the bathroom when he notices a letter of some sort on Veronica’s desk. With trepidation he sidesteps and touches the paper with trembling hands while he reads the words written. There’s a splintering in his chest, he hears the crack of his heart shattering at Veronica’s words. Eyes close against the pain, but it does nothing. Breathes are shaky or is his body that is shaking? The boy forces feet to move one in front of the other, following the sounds from the kitchen. _'She can't leave. I'll make it better, I'll figure out how to make this better for her. I swear I will.'_

He slides onto one stool and watches Veronica prepare grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. A slight smile crosses his lips as he remembers how she would always make this for him when he was having a sad day. She might have been Lilly’s best friend, but she was also his. When Lilly would orchestrate a break-up, Veronica would show up the next day to watch movies and play video games with him. A declaration that they needed comfort food would follow and she would make this same meal. Too shy, he never told her how much that meant to him and how this simple meal would make him feel warm and loved by someone. Brown eyes blink back to reality by a plate and bowl being set on the counter.

“Where’s yours?” he furrows his eyebrows, not seeing food in front of her. 

“Not hungry,” the small voice is quiet and sounding as if it's weighed down by the world. “You need to get warm on the inside, Logan, so eat.”

A shake of his head. “You need to get warm too. You were in the same water, in fact, you were in longer than I was and I’m used to being in the icy water for surfing.” 

Blue eyes shift to the floor, and she moves weight from one foot to the other. “I’m okay”

He gets from the stool and walks around the counter, touching her shoulder with a light touch. “How about we share?” The smile he gives tentative when she looks up.

“You won’t give up on this are you?”

“Nope,” Logan pops the ‘P,’. “Come on ‘Ronica, share the food with me.”

Veronica sighs, “Okay.”

Logan watches as Veronica walks around and gets on the stool beside the one he was sitting on. Can’t help but notice the slow gait, the limp, and arm wrapped around her ribs. The beach had had little light, and she had been wearing sweats. Now wearing pink and black plaid pajama pants and a long-sleeved black t-shirt; he wonders how much bruising is hiding beneath the clothes. A soft sigh escapes, and he tries to take this one thing at a time. First, getting some food into her to help with any alcohol left and to get her warmed up. Tremors are continuing to run through her small body at intervals. 

  
  


“Do your ribs hurt? I- I thought I might have hurt you when I did CPR earlier.”

  
  


The blond nods, “I don’t think it’s anything to worry about though. I mean, I'm sure nothing is broken. Uh- thanks for that. I’m sorry I screamed at you.”

He sits again, splitting the sandwich in half and handing her part of it. Pushes the soup bowl between in the middle so they can dunk the cheesy goodness in the warm liquid. While he eats, he watches as Veronica nibbles a bit at a time until the half of the sandwich disappears. With a gentle push of the bowl back to Logan, showing she doesn’t want anymore. While he would have liked to get more into her, at least it was something. He picks up his spoon and swirls it around the bowl before swallowing some creamy goodness. “You’re welcome, V’ronica and I deserved to have you scream at me for the way I’ve treated you. So, after this, movie marathon?” 

Veronica’s eyes widen to the size of saucers, hands fumble in her lap. “Oh- uh- well it’s getting kind of late and you have plans for tonight I’m sure.”

“No, no plans other than starting to mend the relationship with you. Please say you’ll let me. I don’t expect to have you trust me the way you used to…” Logan drops the spoon into the bowl and pushes it away, “How could you after what I’ve done? But, I want to earn that trust back, to show you I mean what I said. Please let me.”

“I- ah- I believe you Logan but it’s getting kind of late and-”

Logan presses his luck, words tumbling out, “You said the Sheriff’s gone and won’t be back for a few days. Let’s have an overnight movie night like we used to do. I’ll even let you pick the first movie. Even South Park. I’ll let you pick South Park or Spice World or Ten Things I Hate About You.” 

Veronica stands and stumbles to the living room. Beelines to the big stuffed black-and-white striped chair. Slow movements have her bringing her knees up to chest and then wrapping her arms around them, laying her cheek against the drawn-up knees. Worried he has blown the opportunity, Logan follows and sits down on the couch, staying silent and hoping for some indication of what’s going through her mind. 

Silence stretches and Logan finds it hard to stay still. He hasn’t ever been able to stay still, always has to be in motion, has been since the day he was born but he tries, not wanting to spook Veronica. When a broken whisper pierces the quiet, it’s like a crack of thunder breaking through a peaceful night.

“What are we doing, Logan? You hate me. I mean I heard what you said on the beach but- you hate me now. It’s- it’s better this way, you have every reason to hate me. You should go home or go find your friends or whatever.”

The brunette head rocks from side to side and tries to reach for her hand before pulling it back when Veronica shrinks away, eyes widening and body beginning to tremble again. That looks sets alarm bells off, he knows that look, has seen it in the mirror. But he has never seen that look directed at him. He logically knows that it’s the touch because of the assault, though he has to admit that she might be afraid of him. Logan has never hurt her, would never hurt her, wasn’t Aaron for fuck’s sake, but the fact remained that someone had hurt her in the worst way. And it’s likely that it had happened because the person perceived that it was okay to hurt her because he took away the protection afforded as his friend. With Lilly gone and Duncan and her broken up, there wasn’t any protection from the 09ers. Logan has an overwhelming urge to scream. It builds inside like a wave rushing to the shore or what a volcano must go through before explosion. 

“I don’t hate you, Veronica. Fuck- you were and still are my best friend after Duncan. I’ve been so angry, so confused, and that doesn’t excuse the things I’ve done. I chose you as my target. God, I was so wrong. It hurts sometimes to see you, walking down the hall, long blond hair so much like hers and for a second, I think it’s Lilly. And you were her best friend, Ronnie, and that brought up memories and I am so- so pissed the fuck off at her! We may have been over, but I didn’t want her dead. We should have been friends again.” 

The blond stares, eyes wide, jaw dropping. Then she nods. “I miss her and I’m furious with her at the same time.”

Logan swallows and forces the next words. “Ronnie- This never should have happened. If I hadn’t turned on you, it wouldn’t have. This is my fault, I wasn’t there to protect you.”

A drop of her forehead to press it to her knees and speaking into the space created, “You didn’t tell anyone to do this. You- it’s not your fault. But please. Please go now so I can-”

“No! No, I won’t go, Veronica. You can’t leave, please. Don't do this! I'll help you, I'll protect you. I won't let anyone hurt you ever again! You’re hurting and I can’t say that I understand what you’re going through. I- I can’t imagine but please, please don’t do what you‘re considering. The sheriff needs you. I need you in my world. I need _my_ V’ronica back and you need _your_ Logan.”

Veronica laughs darkly, “ _My_ Logan? You’ve never been my Logan, _Lilly’s_ Logan is more accurate. I was the annoying sister you never wanted.”

“Is that what you think? That I only hung around with you because of Lilly and Duncan? That’s not true! You are my friend because we get each other. We have so many things in common. Can talk for hours about things that the Kane siblings will never understand. You‘re my friend because you like me for me, not because of who my parents are or what the Echolls name might get you. I want you as my friend because you’re amazing, Veronica, and you make my life better by being in it. I’m an idiot for forgetting that. I haven’t shown it, but I have missed you.” His whisper ends with a soft sob. 

“I- oh Logan, I don’t…” A helpless hand gesture follows, and he isn’t sure what she’s trying to say. “Sorry, I need to take another shower!” Veronica jumps up and flees before Logan can respond. 

  
  
  
  


**Time After Time**

**_Veronica_ **

Veronica stands under the spray and tries to scrub off the dirt. Dirt that is invisible but everywhere, mind whirling so fast she can’t grab onto a single thought for long. She still wants to- Well, it isn’t so much that she wants to die. More like doesn’t want to be here anymore. Wishes she didn’t exist. Wants Lilly even if she’s angry like Logan is. Veronica even wants her mom. But knows that neither will be coming. Lianne is a lost cause, but it is possible to go to Lilly.

“Veronica Mars.” The petite blond jumps and peeks around the shower curtain. Not entirely surprised to find Lilly is here, she‘s visited Veronica at least once a week, but still Veronica stares.

“Lilly?” Voice low, aware that Logan is in the apartment and doesn’t want him to overhear her talking to his dead girlfriend that he just admitted to being pissed off at. “Oh Lilly, you’re here. Thank god you’re here.”

The older blond’s smile is softer, kinder than the normal mischievous one seen. “I‘ll be in your bedroom, okay? Tell Logan you want to lie down and we’ll talk. But Veronica, promise him you’ll only lie down for a rest.”

The younger blond nods. At that moment the water chooses to give out, quickly bringing her out of her state of shock. With a shrill shriek, she twists the knobs to turn the shower off. A gentle knock sounds on the door.

“Veronica? Are you okay in there?” 

“Uh- yeah, sorry. The water gave out, and the cold water was a surprise. I’ll be out in a second.”

“Okay,” Logan’s gentle tenor comes through the door.

A few deep breaths against the pain before she steps out of the shower and grabs a towel. With hurried movements she dries off, hissing at the tenderness of skin against material. Once that’s completed, she dresses in pajamas again before going to the living room, finding Logan sitting there on the couch staring out the window.

“Logan?” Head quickly turns toward her, brown eyes soft and full of concern. “Uh- I need to lie down, okay?” Those beautiful brown eyes grow gigantic and his right leg bounces up and down. “I promise you that’s all I’m doing. I- I- ah- hurt right now.” She stumbles over how to say her body is aching. “I want to take a little rest. Try to get some perspective when I’m not so overloaded. That’s all I’m doing, I swear.”

Logan releases an audible breath, nodding his head up and down. “Yeah, get some rest. I’ll stay here, maybe take a little nap on the couch or watch t.v. When you wake up, I can order us some food.”

Stomach twisting at the mention of food. “Yeah, okay.” Not able to deal with the food issue, it’s easy to push aside. Veronica already knows that he isn’t leaving so she doesn’t argue. “I’ll see you when I wake up. There are pillows and blankets in the closet if you want them.”

“Veronica? Can you- please not lock the bedroom door?” There is a tremble in the tall boy’s voice.

A slight smile, wanting to give him some kind of comfort, then turning she makes her way to her room. A soft click when she closes the door but doesn’t lock it before crawling in bed, wincing and moving bruised, stiff muscles. With careful maneuvering, gets her body to a comfortable position on her side and finds Lilly there, also on her side facing her. 

“I wish I could hug you.” Lilly’s eyes glisten. “I wish I was still here. This would have never happened. I’m sorry, Veronica, this should never have happened.”

“It’s not your fault, Lils. I miss you so much. I wish you could hug me too.” Tears well up in blue eyes and spill down. “What do I do?. I want to be with you.”

“Oh, I know, V’ronica. But that isn’t what should happen. Sweetie, you don’t belong with me, you belong here.” Veronica had never heard Lilly’s voice so gentle and can almost feel it when the hand reaches up to pet over her hair. “It doesn’t seem like it now, but you‘ll make it through this. You shouldn’t have to, but it’s done and now you have to decide what you’ll do with it. But the one thing you shouldn’t do is push it down, push it away and not deal with it. If you do that- you’ll carry this for the rest of your life and it will keep tearing at you from the insides.”

Veronica sniffles softly at Lilly’s words. The older blond’s voice is soothing to her. Veronica wants to push it all away, not deal with it. If she has to live, she doesn’t want to deal with this. Put up walls. Get tough.

“Veronica, please listen to me.” The younger blue eyes meet her best friend’s green gaze. “It’s okay to get tough, let out that red satin I always said you were but don’t do it to the point of harming yourself and others.”

“What do you mean, Lils?”

Lilly Kane takes a breath, looking upward before looking back at her friend and speaking again. “Don’t do it to the point you lose who you are to it. Believe it or not, I love pink Veronica as much as I will adore red satin Veronica. You need not kill one to access the other. Blend the two, find balance. Don’t build up walls and push everyone away, you still need friends, especially Logan. It’s okay to take that slow and mend what has cracked. What he said is true, he’s not angry at you, doesn’t hate you. He’s mad at your dad for going after mine because there are things he doesn’t know, information you don’t have yet. There are things you need to find out together rather than apart. He loves you Veronica, the same as you love him so please don’t push him away.”

Veronica nods and things seem a little more clear now talking with Lilly. The feelings are all still there but she trusts Lilly and if she says that Veronica has to be here, she’ll listen. Unsure how to go about mending her relationship with Logan after what has happened, but Lilly is right about that too; she loves him, and has missed him. So, starting slow, rebuilding from there, sounds like a good plan.

“Lilly, you said there is information we don’t have yet-” a tremor runs up her spine and her chest tightens. “Did your dad- was he the one?”

“I can’t answer that, not allowed to say. I’m not saying he is, but well- your dad wasn’t wrong when he told my dad he knew that he was hiding things. Things that will all come out soon. I need you to find my killer, Veronica. But not now. Right now you need to focus on healing. I have to go. Can I ask one thing?”

“Anything Lils, anything at all!”

“I know how much I made fun of it when Celeste made me go but go see a therapist, it helps. It’s scary and I know you don’t want to talk about this but it will help. And- talk to Logan as much as you can. He won’t desert you again, I promise.” Lilly Kane leans in and kisses Veronica on the cheek; the younger blond closes her eyes and for a moment, they both feel it. 

When she opens her eyes again, her best friend is no longer there. But there is a lingering scent in the air of her perfume. Veronica draws the covers over a tired body and curls up, eyes heavy and closing while she drifts to sleep. Dreams of lazy days by the pool with three others, days where everything was perfect and there was no pain in sight. Laughing as Logan cannonballs into the pool, getting water everywhere with the force. Lilly scolds the now grinning boy for getting both the magazine and her bikini wet. Duncan high-fiving him and laughing, going to take his own turn on the diving board. As the girl sleeps, the drawn, haggard look slips away and a soft smile curves her lips, body relaxing, her mind drawing deeper back to a happier time, allowing some healing that she needs.

In the living room of Mars’ household, while the small blond sleeps, a tall boy, full of his own pain and who carries his own scars is being awoken by Lilly Kane. It’s time for the second talk of the night. Lilly isn’t sure how he will respond to seeing her, but they need to talk. Logan needs and deserves closure between them and she needs to make sure that he will take care of her Veronica. One thing cool about being dead? The ability to see the future. _‘She was blind to ignore how perfect these two are together? How was she so selfish to get between them?’_ Even though Logan had loved her, he had been in love with Veronica since the day they met. Had pined for her without knowing about it. Lilly had turned his head with sex out of jealousy for attention and found it funny to manipulate things, knowing it would hurt him as she pushed Veronica and Duncan together. Duncan liked Veronica, that was true, but Lilly was aware from the beginning that Veronica had liked Logan. Also certain that her friend would never go against her, she staked her claim on the tall, handsome brunette and pushed Veronica onto Donut as a consolation prize. That’s not to say that Vee didn’t care for Duncan, but it had been puppy love. Deep down, Veronica has always pined for Logan too. And worse? Lilly had been complicit in helping Duncan suppress Veronica’s spirit and personality as he tried to make her conform to his perfect image. Had pushed Veronica towards Duncan hoping that his attention would shift to her instead and it had partly worked but in doing so, she had also place Veronica in danger. She needs to fix things, needs to find a way to warn them.

Lilly sighs as brown eyes open. This would not be a fun conversation. She had a lot of apologizing to do.

Startled, Logan sat up and pressed back against the couch in disbelief, “Lilly?”


	2. Against All Odds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s time for Lilly to talk to Logan. Veronica and Logan continue to deal with the aftermath of Shelly’s Party and begin the first step in repairing their broken friendship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to remind you all of what I said in the very beginning. Take most everything you know of canon and toss it out of the window. What might appear to be following canon when it comes to Shelly's party pertaining to Logan is not the case, for example, back in the first chapter, he says to himself he's glad he DIDN'T any drugs with him that night. I also want to remind everyone, that while it doesn't excuse his actions and I am not saying it does, Logan and Veronica have only been fighting for maybe two months at this point. Lilly died on October 3rd, this story starts December 23rd. There has not been a year to accumulate all of the damage done to their relationship as when it opened on the show. Its important to remember that. It's also important to remember they are both still reeling from Lilly's death and that can take different forms.
> 
> I also want to remind you that I'm having them deal with things so there isn't a glossing over and suddenly they are okay. This first story of this series most certainly falls into the hurt/comfort trope but it's always going to be about LoVe. These kids deserve a healthy shot. With this, I also want to remind you that you are 'listening' in to the minds of a sexual assault and an abuse victim and those are not easy. Please trust me that I have a plan and that I will always make sure our babies are going to be okay.
> 
> Again- be mindful of the warnings please and don't read if it is not conducive to your mental health. I don't want to harm anyone.  
> TW- sexual assault (aftermath)  
> TW-(canon) child abuse mentioned in this chapter  
> TW- suicidal idealizations in this chapter

**Art by Saoirse_Konstantin**

**Against All Odds**

**_Logan_ **

“Lilly?” The palm of Logan’s hand scrubbed a hand roughly over his face, then rubbed his eyes several times before checking again. _‘Yep, blond, ex-girlfriend still sitting there with that annoyed expression perfected in life.’_ A deep breath in and then out, thoughts racing. Pain from a heart breaking again in his chest competing against hot, red anger filling his blood. The desire to scream at her, to plead with her, to ask how she could have left them. The yearning to apologize for so many things. Instead, he blurted out the first words that came to mind, “How- I mean, you’re dead!” The words tumbled out of an open mouth, the filter between brain and mouth broken even more than usual.

“Hey, Loveh!” A bright, beautiful smile and finger wave before Lilly’s lips turned downward slightly, eyebrows drawing together a moment. Looking down before looking at him again. “I guess I should start calling you Logan now though. If it were anyone else, I wouldn’t bother but- in this case I’ll make the exception.” Lilly tilted her head, eyes off to the side, and then bobbed it up and down, agreeing with herself. “Yes, it would just be better to call you Logan now, though I don’t plan on visiting you all that often. Just when _my_ bestie might need a little help to kick your ass.”

Anger won out. “What the hell are you going on about, Lilly? How are you here? Why are you here? You just left us! How could you do that? Leave Veronica like that? Do you have any idea what this has done to her?” The deep ranting voice broke, “Leave me like that? Our relationship was over, for good this time, but I didn’t want you dead or out of my life!” The usually smooth voice cracked with a sob.

“Logan. I’ll answer what I can, but here isn’t a lot of time. I spent most of the time given to me with Veronica because she needs me more. Close your mouth and listen, okay? I’m sorry, really, I am so sorry for what happened and for leaving you guys. I- I didn’t see it coming. I never thought what I was doing could end up like this. Thought I was young, fabulous and invincible, all I wanted was an adventure, excitement.” The words trailed off and Lilly shook her head. “I never wanted you out of my life either. You’re right, we were over for good. Truthfully, we never should have been to begin with but I can’t change the past, so now it’s time to help make things right. I’m not saying that we never should have been to hurt you, I just mean, we weren’t good for each other, not that way and I think we both know that. As to how I’m here, I’m a ghost, dummy. I have been visiting V’ronica a lot, but she’s been the only one open to seeing me. Until tonight, she thought I was just in her imagination. You’ve been too angry and Donut is a zombie, zoned out, both of you shut down in your own ways and I couldn’t break through. I still can’t with Duncan but tonight, you let yourself be you, let down your anger and here I am. I’ve been watching over you and I’m not sure whether to strangle you, hug you or both.”

Lilly stood and began pacing back and forth in front of the coffee table while he continued to stare, wondering if this was a dream. Nimble fingers pinched his arm, and he winced before glancing back up. His stomach churning and twisting while realizing that she knew everything. Lilly had been watching and knew how he and the others had treated Veronica and what had happened because he turned her into the enemy.

The blond spun on her heel, hair flying behind her, rounding on him. Green eyes blazed fire, hands clenched, spine straight, mouth twisted into a scowl. It was impossible not to tell that she wasn’t alive because of the disdain she threw his direction. “How dare you! You went after _my_ Veronica Mars, Logan Echolls! Who the fuck do you think you are? Spreading rumors she was sleeping around? Really?! Tormenting her when she has been nothing but your friend and always stood by you, no matter what. Sometimes even against me! Did you know that? Veronica stood up to me, Lilly Kane, more than once about the way I treated you! Have you ever once stopped to think that maybe there was a reason that Sheriff Mars might have a reason for his actions?” Her voice hissed, dripping with condemnation as she stood before him acting as judge and jury. Possibly also an executioner, he wasn’t entirely sure.

Logan’ mouth opened to speak in defense, then snapped shut quickly, knowing there was none. Lilly pointed a long elegant finger, hissing. “Don’t you dare! You don’t get to say one damn word, Logan Echolls. Not. One. Damn. Word! Answer this, before my murder did Sheriff Mars ever do _anything_ that made you doubt his ability? You may not have liked him because you’ve always had issues with authority, but did he do anything that made you say he was a bad Sheriff?” Logan gaped, eyes widened, jaw dropped, body utterly still. “Now you can answer. Yes or no. Did he?” With effort, swallowing over the lump in his throat, he shook his head from side to side slowly, gaze dropping to the floor.

“That’s what I thought, but you didn’t think, did you? And worse than that? You turned it all on Veronica! What gave you the right to do that, Logan Aaron Echolls? How do you justify crucifying a child for the perceived sins of their parent, you of all people?” Lilly’s voice came out low and dangerous, more like a growl.

Shoulders turned inward, body slumping and trembling, hands pulled the sleeves of his shirt over them frantically. Logan’s eyes stung and his head dropped, knowing she was right and that he deserved much more than this stripping down verbally. Mind whirled, thoughts invading it, his father’s voice telling him he was worthless, that he destroyed everything around him. Plans formed vaguely; he would need to commit some act, say something to raise Aaron’s anger before he went home.. Something big, guaranteed to make Aaron whip so hard his skin would break and bleed because he deserved it. Deserved the punishment and so much more for what he had done. “I’m sorry,” the whisper slipped through his lips. “I’m so fucking sorry. Wish I knew how to take it all back. I’m a failure and don’t deserve her friendship. But I’m too selfish not to want it, need it. Need her. I can stop this, put an end to the torment and rumors, protect her again…”

A delicate weight settled around his shoulder caused Logan to lift his head and turn. Lilly sat beside him, eyes softer and round. Fire faded from them. Now, in the big green eyes looking at him and Logan found his friend. “Yeah, you can fix it and need to but you can’t change what’s happened, Logan. It will be a rough road for you. You must earn her trust this time, she’s not going to just give it to you freely. Are you prepared to accept that Ronica will be skittish and suspicious for a while? I know she’ll give you a chance, forgive you even, but you will have to work to regain the closeness.” A slight smile made the corners of her lips turn up, “And our Veronica is stubborn as hell so she’s probably not going to make it easy on you. It will be a dance of two steps forward one back for a bit. She’s going to change, but you can help that be a wonderful change rather than the dangerous kind. Veronica needs you to keep her from going too far over the edge, even if she’s not always willing to acknowledge that fact. And you need her to keep you from going too far, too. Be patient with her because of what she’s now got to deal with… she’s so hurt, Logan, and I hate that I’m not here. There are times she’ll let you protect her and even seek comfort from you and then may pull back because she freaks out and gets scared. It’s all a part of trust being re-established. Be patient.”

“Everything is so fucked up now, Lils” A sigh, head dropped again while drawing a deep breath into his lungs. “I’m willing to put the work in. I want to be there for her, want her in my life. How I forgot how much better life is with her, I don’t know. But it’s something I won’t ever forget again. I can’t afford to, she’ll never give me a third chance. And- and I think if I forget, I’ll go too far, cross a line I can’t ever come back from and I don’t want that. I think I was already on my way to doing that. You’re right, stubborn as a mule that one is, but it’s okay, so am I.”

Lilly’s lips curled up, eyes regaining the sparkle held in life. Her hand squeezed his shoulder. “That’s what I want to hear. I’m sorry for hurting you, Logan. And- I’m sorry because you might find some information later about me that will really hurt, but I can’t say what it is. If I could take it all back, I would. I’m also sorry for not just letting you go earlier when I knew we would keep destroying each other. I loved you, just not in the way you needed or deserved. But, you deserve that love and if you are smart and patient, it’s closer than you think. Now, my time's up.”

“No! Don’t go yet, Lilly. Please? Stay a little longer and talk to me!” His heart beat frantic and hard, pushing against ribs painfully at the thought of her leaving again. “Tell me how to help Veronica more. Keep me from screwing this up!”

“I can’t, Sweetie. I wish I could, but I can’t. But, I promise I’m always around, watching over the two of you. I’m never that far away.” He noticed then that her form was fading, voice sounding more like an echo.

“Take care of each other. And Logan? Take care of yourself, be kinder to yourself. Nobody deserves what your dad does to you. Another of my regrets is never speaking up. I was part of the problem that has made your self-esteem worse. It was wrong to do that.” She leaned in and he barely felt the whisper of something against his cheek. “Nobody deserves it and someone will show you that, trust me. You also need to know that what happened to Veronica was not your fault, I swear to you, you played no role in it, not even you acting like a jackass had anything to do with it.” That brilliant Lilly Kane smile nearly blinded him. She blew a kiss and then disappeared, leaving Logan staring air.

Time passed as he sat on the couch, staying motionless, wondering if he had conjured her in his mind and had a hallucination. But the scent of her perfume whispered in the air and the soft impression of her lips still lingered against his cheek. Above all, his heart ached but the crack in it, put there because he never got to say goodbye had closed. It was time to let her go; he realized. Lillian Katherine Kane would always be a part of him, hold a piece of his heart as first loves do. Beyond that, she had been his friend and that would always be there. It was time to let go of the romantic notion he clung to, the one he knew wasn't true but had created after her death because it seemed the right thing to do. The one created out of guilt and pain. The time had come to remember Lilly as she was- fabulous, larger than life, and sometimes a royal bitch, _their_ Lilly. Logan laid back down on the couch and closed his eyes. Sleep took him and for the first time in months, it did so peacefully.

**Time After Time**

**_Veronica_ **

Painful, bright light streaming through the curtains woke Veronica in the morning Body heavy, head spinning and pounding, and stomach clenching. Clumsy movements had her out of bed and rushing for the bathroom, barely making it when her stomach wretched and attempted to empty itself even though there was nothing there.

A moan slipped out while her small body jerked and twitched, trying to reject the alcohol no longer present. When her body abandoned its painful mission, she slumped against the floor, panting and catching her breath. It hurt to breathe and the cool tiles were pleasant against her hot skin, but eventually Veronica forced herself to stand up, using the counter for support. She made the two steps to the shower and twisted the knob to hot, letting the water warm up while sluggishly stripping away her clothing. Tears fought their way down her cheeks as purple mottled skin became exposed, bruises on her arms and stomach, fingerprints on the inside of her thighs and handprints on the outside. _‘How am I going to hide some of these from dad?’_ Hands pulled back the shower curtain and the petite girl stumbled in, closing it behind her. Beneath the safety of the water falling to cover the sounds, sobs took over, rattling her entire body with their force. Chest heaving as she choked on them.

She located the body wash and loofa, pouring nearly half the bottle onto the sponge before beginning to scrub, ignoring the stinging her already sensitive skin felt from the lightest touch. The light pink turned an even brighter and then darker pink where not already black and purple. The need to scrub away the dirty feeling that covered her. Hands shook as it ground the coarse loofah against her body, moving in frantic circles and then back and forth while mumbling under her breath. “Come off, please come off.” Veronica absently realized she tasted blood but made no move to remove her teeth from her bottom lip, too intent on trying to get clean.

A broken cry and the sponge finally fell to the floor of the shower, skin now deeply red and in a few places, drops of blood beaded from it being so raw. An arm shot out and she gripped her shampoo bottle, pouring the substance into her palm and then bringing it to her head, letting the bottle also fall to the floor of the shower while both hands worked the liquid through her hair, nails digging into scalp, tugging roughly down through her blond locks; paying no mind to any pain it caused, just knowing she needed to get them clean. Growing exhausted from the force spent before letting her head fall forward to rinse the water through her hair, eyes closed tightly, knowing she should put her head back to do this but it was too much effort. Getting the cleaning agent out before weakly reaching out for the conditioner.

Movements turned robotic as fatigue seeped through her pores, body growing heavier by the second. Cold settled down into the marrow of her bones. After smoothing the agent into her hair, her body slid down the tiles until her bottom joined the loofah and the shampoo bottle. Knees drawing up close to her chest and arms wrapping around them, forehead falling to rest on kneecaps, eyes sliding shut, hair in a curtain to hide her. Veronica’s small body rocked back and forth and reality slipped away. Away from the memories and thoughts that besieged her mind. Water went from hot to warm to tepid to ice, rinsing the conditioner from her hair and continuing to fall against her, over her. Minutes ticked on and on.

** Time After Time**

**_Logan_ **

Logan startled awake when the bathroom door slammed shut. He stretched, mouth opening wide and letting out a sound resembling that of a black bear roaring. He stood up from the couch and stretching one and then the other arm over his head before twisting and cracking his back. Rubbing at his eyes to dislodge the sleep and bring forth readiness for the day. The previous evening came back to him in a rush and he sat back down heavily on the couch. _‘Finding Veronica at the beach, discovering someone had violated her… Lilly’s visit.’_ These all tumbled through his head, weight settling upon his shoulders while his head bowed.

Fog invaded his mind when he suddenly remembered the notebook and the note she had left for her father. _’What do I do?’_ Mind tumbled while thoughts processed everything, becoming more awake. _‘Objective one: take care of Veronica. Objective two: call Mr. Mars? Objective three: begin repairing relationship with Ronnie, work on regaining trust. Objective four: stop the harassment and rumors.’_

He was just starting to think he needed to write these down when his cell phone rang, interrupting things. Queen’s ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ announced it was Dick without him having to look at the caller ID. Not really wanting to answer but knowing the surfer would keep calling back until he did, Logan flipped open the phone, voice subdued, “Hello?”

“Dude! Where were you yesterday? I tried to find you everywhere! What happened to you at the party Friday night? You missed it! That skank Veronica Mars was making out with everyone, man. Even Beaver might have had a shot at her if he’d been at the party!”

Dick was about to go on when Logan interrupted through clenched teeth, “Dick, from now on, Veronica is off-limits. No more pranks, no more rumors, no more talking about her. Nobody fucking touches her. She’s under _my_ protection. So I suggest you stop right now and start passing around the word immediately.”

The blond surfer’s voice faltered, “Wait- what? But- we hate her! You hate her for what her dad did!”

“I was wrong. Leave her alone Dick and spread the word. Anyone harasses Veronica Mars, they will deal with me. And I will make their life a living hell.”

Dick was silent for a lengthy pause before responding, voice cautious. “Okay dude, if that’s what you want. You’re sure?”

“I’m sure and I won’t be changing my mind. I should never have turned on her to begin with. I was a jackass. As for Shelly’s party, we need to have a discussion, but today isn’t the day for that.”

“Oh-kay, so uh- Did you want to hit the waves this morning?”

A sigh slipped through Logan’s lips. Dick really wasn’t an awful guy, he didn’t deserve to get snapped at and it wasn’t his fault that Logan was feeling useless and like crap. “Nah man, I had a rough night. Some time this week though, okay? I have things to take care of right now, but I promise we’ll surf sometime this week.”

“Cool, cool. I’ll talk with you later, and I’ll spread the word about Ronnie. But Logan, you will have trouble with the females, you know that right? The guys will fall in line easily, or most of them will, but Madison and some other girls, they’re going to be a problem.”

Logan found himself taken aback by the concern in Dick’s voice. “Yeah, I figure, I’ll cross that bridge when I get there though.”

The boys hung up and Logan realized the shower was still running. Lips tugging downward and eyes narrowing, he got up. _‘It’s been almost an hour.’_ There was a rock in his stomach while his hand reached up to rap lightly on the door. Waiting a moment and getting no answer, Logan rapped louder. _‘Maybe she didn’t hear the first time. She wouldn’t- oh god what if she’s hurt herself!’_ Bile rising in his throat. His tall frame shook as he knocked one more time, nearly pounding now. “Veronica! Ronnie? Are you okay? I need you to answer me or I’m coming in!”

Only the sound of water falling from the shower inside the bathroom met him. The moment was surreal, like having a waking dream. Movements seemed to be doing so in that slow motion they do in movies. His hand rattled the doorknob hard, trying to twist it to open the door but finding it locked. If there was a thought, Logan wasn’t aware of it, just as he wasn’t aware of his trembling, perspiring body or the fact he was about to vomit. He took a step back and kicked the door as hard as he could, fueled by the adrenaline racing through his veins.

The door flew open, hitting the tiled wall and bouncing back, but Logan had already slipped inside the room. “Veronica….Veronica!” Voice echoed in the room. His hands curled around the shower curtain and ripped it back, pulling it from three of the rings which held it up. The sight nearly broke him, a sob clawing its way from his throat as he found the petite girl rocking back and forth, knees drawn up, arms wrapped around them to hold them to her chest. She hummed a soft tune under her breath. Terror clawed up his spine as he suddenly had a flash of Duncan after he had pulled him off Jake that night. When he had collapsed to the floor and taken the same position and rocked, eyes staring off blankly.

“V’ronica? Baby, can you answer me?” The endearment slipped out without notice, voice raw with emotion. “You’re scaring the hell out of me. Can you tell me what’s wrong, how to help you?” His perusal of her body had nothing to do with lust. It was purely clinical, taking in the red, raw skin, drops of blood coming from around her broken fingernails and mixing with the water on the shower floor. He reached over, quickly shutting off the water, and turning to grab the large soft blue towel she had set out. His hands gentle, the way you would touch a newborn while he wrapped the towel around her and then scooped her up into his arms and cuddled her close, letting out a breath his burning lungs were grateful to expel. _‘This is bad, but she wasn’t.... She hadn’t… well, she had hurt herself, but not intending to do so.’_

Logan’s strong but tender arms carried Veronica to the bedroom. She weighed nothing, but he was afraid of inadvertently hurting her battered body. She didn’t respond in the slightest, staring with blank eyes, tears running down delicate cheeks, quiet whimpers escaping occasionally. He placed her softly on the bed, lips brushing the crown of her head. “Hold on baby,” The hoarse whisper escaped him and again the tender endearment slipped out with no thought. “I’ll get some clothes. You’re safe, you’re safe now. I’m here. Nobody will hurt you ever again. I’ll kill them if they try.” A few steps across the room to her dresser and his cheeks flushed pink when opening the top drawer to grab a pair of pink cotton panties. The next drawer revealed a pair of pink and black checked pajama pants, and in her closet he found a black t-shirt and a pink hoodie.

The steps he took back to Veronica, looking so small and fragile on the bed, were hesitant. Voice almost a whisper, afraid to scare her but wanting her to come out of this trance. “Ronica? Can you wake up? I found you clothes, but I think you’d rather dress yourself than have me do it. Please, Ronnie, come back to me. Let me see your pretty blue eyes.”

Waiting several minutes that felt like hours and getting no response had Logan gnawing on his bottom lip. The corner of his brown eyes turned downward, and they stung a little.Hands which had settled to a barely there tremble shook harder again. “Okay, I’m going to dress you, I’ll be gentle. I promise not to look if I can help it. I swear I’m not going to hurt you Veronica. I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

Gently, the way you would with an infant, though he had no experience with those either, he lay her back on her bed. The large towel covered her, at least as much as a bathing suit would. Hands shook while straightening her legs and an inaudible sound, like an animal in pain, struggled its way up his throat as he saw the bruises on her legs. There were no doubts that the son of a bitch who did this to her, did it against her will. Not that he once doubted her words. Even Logan could see that these marks left on the pale skin were those of a beast, forcing his way to get what he wanted. He felt bile rise in this throat again and forced it back, needing to care for her before allowing himself to be sick.

Movements quick and talking while he worked, telling the non-responsive girl exactly what he would do before doing it, he slipped the panties up Veronica’s legs and settled them in place under the towel. Repeating the same process, he worked the pajama pants up the same way, at least able to give her the dignity of not seeing anything while he did this part. She had stopped humming now, lay passive, eyes open and staring at the ceiling. “Okay Ronica, this next part is a little tricky. Can you please wake up from wherever you are and do it yourself because I think you would prefer to. I don’t want to hurt you or scare you. Please baby, wake up for me?”

Logan had a sickening thought and his stomach knotting. _‘Why would she wake up for me? I’m not the one who did this, but I’m still responsible. No matter what Lilly said. I’m the one who has tormented her these past few months and made the sick bastard think it was okay to hurt her.’_

Chocolate eyes stung and tears slipped down his cheeks. Never would he have condoned this or any physical assault against her or anyone. But he never should have made any kind of torture okay. Should have never started or passed on the rumors. He knew they weren’t true. She was a virgin until the other night, that he knew with certainty. Would have known even if she had said nothing. She and Donut never had sex, and she had dated no one since he stopped acknowledging her existence. _‘Not only had someone ra-’_ The ugly, harsh word rang in his mind but he couldn’t say it to himself yet, not without vomiting and he couldn't afford to do that right now. _‘Not only had someone hurt her, bruised her, manhandled her in a way no woman deserved. They had taken that which was up to her to give. Something precious that was hers and hers alone.’_

Logan realized he needed to get out of his head and finish dressing Veronica. He laid out the t-shirt face down and pulled her up to a sitting position again and she stayed up on her own, the towel still securely in place. “Ronica, I need to get your shirt on okay? I won’t look, I promise. I will do this as quickly as I can. I promise you’re in a safe place, nobody will hurt you.”

Once Logan had her positioned, he kept his eyes on hers. Hands quivered undoing the towel, fingers usually so nimble, slightly clumsy, letting the soft material fall open. A deep breath to steady himself, he quickly grabbed the shirt and worked it over her head, taking her hands one by one and lifting her arms with gentleness to pull them through the sleeves. Then grasping the sides of the shirt, he lowered it all the way down her torso, never once looking down though he wanted to examine the bruises to see if she needed more help. A ragged breath blew out through his lips and muscles relaxed now that he had her dressed. He reached over to grab her hoodie. Carefully maneuvering her arms again to pull it on her frail body and then zipping it up for her. “Veronica, if you don’t wake up, I need to take you to the hospital. You’re scaring the shit out of me.”

That got a reaction. Her small body jolted and blue eyes began blinking rapidly, hands flailed. “Veronica? Ronnie?” Logan crouched down in front of the bed, getting himself at eye level with the blond.

“Get away!” Veronica’s voice brittle and high pitched, ripping from her throat in a scream that would usually make him flinch. “Get away! Don’t hurt me anymore! Let me go! Please…. please!” Sobs broke the words and with effort she pulled herself all the way to the corner of her bed, hiding herself there against the wall.

“Ronica, oh Ronnie!” Logan tried to keep his voice smooth and soothing. Tried to remember how his mom used to talk to him once upon a time when he got sick or hurt himself and she paid attention and loved him. “It’s okay, you’re at home. You’re at home and in your room. It’s me, it’s Logan. I’m not going to hurt you. I swear. Nobody will hurt you. You’re safe now.” Logan gripped the side-rail of the bed frame to hold himself in place, wanting more than anything to gather her into his arms and hold her, shelter her in them.

The efforts appeared to pay off when she cautiously looked in his direction. They appeared to be more clear and her lips turned downward, as her gaze looked around, “Logan? Wha- where am I? What happened?” Veronica shifted with a quiet moan, biting her bottom lip and pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs as she looked at Logan for answers now. “The last thing I remember is taking a shower.” Her voice came out as a whisper, rather than the sweet melody he was used to hearing from her lips.

Using extreme caution, he reached forward and lay his hand on her foot with the lightest pressure. “That’s where I found you. You were sitting on the floor of the shower, curled up and rocking, and the water had gone ice cold. I brought you back in here. I tried to get you to wake up, to respond to me, but for the longest time you wouldn’t. You scared the hell out of me, Ronnie.”

Veronica nodded, but then her eyes widened like saucers, cheeks reddened. Breathing grew frantic and fingers clutched at her pajama pants. “Wait- that means, I mean, you saw. Oh god, you saw me naked!”

Recognizing the beginnings of the panic attack, Logan rushed to comfort her. “Not really, I swear. I did my best not to look. I didn’t see a single thing that I haven’t seen before in your bikinis. You were curled up tight like you are now and I just wrapped the towel around you and carried you like that. I saw the bruises on your legs and upper thigh-” Here his voice breaks off and closing his eyes, he counts to three before opening them again and continuing. “But not anything else, I swear. I was able to dress you without- without seeing you.” The larger hand still lay rested over her delicate foot with pink polished toes. “I tried to get you to wake up, Veronica, I swear that I did but you wouldn’t. You scared me. I wasn’t trying to do anything with you or look at you. I just wanted to put clothes on you because I knew that you would want it that way.”

Veronica’s breathing slowed, and her head nodded. “kay... okay. Uh, thank you, Logan. God, I can’t believe I’m thanking you. I can’t believe you’re still here.”

“I meant what I said, Ronica. I want to fix this, make up for what I’ve done. To have you back in my life and I know I’m gonna have to prove myself to do it. I’m not turning on you again, not leaving you by yourself like I have these past couple months. No more trying to destroy you, and I’ve made sure others won’t either. I know you need some time though. There are more important things for you deal with and process. I’ll be here for everything and when you’re ready we’ll process what happened with us.”

“I’m a little overwhelmed now, Lo but- but yeah, I would like that too.” Whispering, as if speaking louder would break the spell. The two teens gazed at each other, feeling the connection that had started when they were twelve and had fractured when Lilly died two months ago. But also realizing it wasn’t really broken, just very bent out of shape. And if it could bend, then it could be bent back. But like bending metal or any other material to manipulate it, it had to be done slowly or you risked the repercussion of snapping it permanently.

Logan lips curved up in a brief smile and squeezed his hand over her foot before releasing and then standing up. Reaching over, he grabbed the wide-tooth comb on her nightstand. “How about I comb your hair like I used to do after we swam?”

A tiny laugh escaped Veronica’s throat. Duncan always made fun of Logan because after showering off the chlorine they would all usually settle in to watch a movie. Logan would sit and comb through Veronica’s hair for her, working through the tangles and then doing a simple braid like Lynn had taught him. He never let the teasing bother him and always offered to do Lilly’s hair, but she turned her nose up at him and did it herself, saying he took too long. Logan settled himself on the bed and gently tugged Veronica to sit between his legs, watching carefully for any reaction of being uncomfortable or scared. Surprised but happily relieved when he didn’t see any. A breath gently and quietly slipped through his lips as she settled in. Affecting an over-the-top accent, he picked up her hair and then let it drop back down heavily against her back, “Dahr-ling, we simply must do something about this mop of hair!”

It had the exact affect he wanted, making Veronica giggle. He kept up the accent, picking a section of hair back up again, taking the wide-tooth comb and starting at the end he began working upward to the crown of her head, being careful with any knots he found, gently untangling them. “So,” affecting the accent once more after her hair was smooth and shining. “What are we thinking? Tell me what you are looking for today, dah-ling! Perhaps an elegant updo?” Twisting her hair carefully and coiling it on top of her head in a bun. “Hmm.. no, no. Your hair is meant to be down and wild, flowing freely. Like the amazing woman who owns it!”

“Amazing? I think you have the wrong subject, Sebastian.” His lips drew up, corners quirking, when she calls him by the nickname she created for this character years ago while playing this game.

“No, no, no dah-ling! You’re beautiful, spunky, and amazing and it’s your time to shine!”

All at once, the teasing and happiness felt like it was sucked from the room. Her shoulders turned inward, and she drew her legs up to rest her forehead on her knees. Logan only had a moment to figure out what happened before sobs filled the air. “Oh Ronica!” His voice dropped to a whisper and carefully he wrapped loose arms around her, worried if he hugged her as tightly as he wanted to it would scare her.

“I’m not beautiful or amazing and certainly not sp- sp- spunky!” Her words stuttered out of her. “I’m weak… I’m weak and stupid and broken! How many times did dad tell me to never accept blind drinks? And I never have, I’ve only ever drunk things I’ve made or you or Lilly made for me. And I let this happen to me. I couldn’t fight because I was so stupid! I’ll never be whole again, never be good enough. I’m disgusting and dirty and…” The blond moved quickly, shooting off of the bed and turning around, pointing an accusatory finger at Logan, voice hysterical and screaming. “Why did you stop me, Logan! Why did you have to stop me! Why didn’t you let me do it? Why didn’t you let me die?”

Logan’s hands reached out, shaking, and he tried to swallow over the lump repeatedly. Scooting to the end of the bed, trying to reach her. “No, Ronnie!” The horrified whisper choked out of him. “No, I couldn’t let you do that. You’re not broken or damaged or dirty. You are beautiful and amazing and full of fire, which I love. You’re not weak and certainly not stupid. I hate what has happened and I will find out who did it and kill them with my bare hands. But listen to me, what happened doesn’t make you unworthy or less than.” His voice rose an octave, shaking, “Do you hear me, Veronica Mars? You are still the most amazing, fun, sweet, spunky, beautiful girl I have ever met!” Logan’s voice cracked and his whole body screamed to take her into his arms, hold her tight and never let her go, protect her at all cost; it also screamed to find the bastard who did this and kill him. Fists gathered the material of the quilt on her bed tightly, as if that would keep him in place. _‘I’ve always been protective of her but… this is so much more. It has to be because she’s been hurt, that must be it, it’s the only logical reason.’_

Veronica backed up, back hitting the wall, body wincing, tears welling up in her eyes. Hands held out in front of her to ward him away. Her blond head turned violently from side to side. “No, my fault. It’s all my fault. And I’ve never been those things. Lilly was those things, not me. I was just plain Veronica, and that was okay, I didn’t care. I still don’t care. I just want to be Veronica again. I want to make it all go away.” She slid down, balling up, drawing blood as her teeth bit into her lip and her eyes closed tight. “It feels like someone reached in and ripped something out of me and I’ll never be whole again, Lo.”

Watching from his position perched on the edge of her bed, his eyes turned down in the corners. He sat frozen, afraid of moving toward her, afraid of scaring her. He caught every wince, every shake, noticed how pink the little skin showing still was. Had seen the bruises on her legs and the ones on her arms last night. He was intimately acquainted with bruises like that and the pain they caused. Helplessness filled his belly, twisted at his guts. His breathing quickened and heart pounded as he tried to reign it in. Focused for a moment on the pink quilt on her bed, _‘Her Grandma Reynolds made this for her. Why are you thinking about her bedspread inside of focusing on helping her asshole?!’_ This was enough to snap him out of it and he focused again on Veronica.

“Ronnie, how can I help you? Whatever you need, it’s yours. Please don’t hurt yourself. Please don’t die and leave. Let me help you, please?”

She looked up, her beautiful eyes filled to the brim with tears that he wanted to wipe away tenderly. He found himself wanting to kiss her cheek and hold her securely in his arms so she knew that he would be here for her from now on. That he would keep her safe. Her voice came so softly, he had to strain to hear it. “I promised Lilly I wouldn’t try to hurt myself anymore. But I’m so worried I won’t be able to keep that promise. I also promised her I would try to talk to someone, a professional. Maybe- maybe- do you think that might help? How would I find someone? I can’t tell my dad, Logan, I just can’t!”

Logan breathed in sharply, _‘It scares the shit out of me she’s admitting she doesn’t know if she can keep her promise. But it’s good she’s willing to at least try to talk to someone... right?’_ He cleared his throat. “She said she talked to you too last night. Yeah, yeah Ronica I think maybe that will help. I will help you find someone, my mom knows all the good shrinks.” He gave her a brief smile. “If you want, I’ll go with you or if we ask my mom, she would probably be willing to if it would help you feel more at ease.”

“You.” The word breathed out. “Maybe if you go with me… I could do it. Lilly visited you last night? I thought I was the only one she visited. She told me before she tried to visit you but you were too angry.” Logan watched as her eyelids drooped and she leaned slightly to the side.

“I was too angry. Last night I just had something else to be angry about so she could get through. Ronica? I think you should sleep some more.” Logan whispered and scooted off of the bed, moving cautiously toward her. “I’m going to lift you up, okay? Put you on the bed so you can get some more rest and then we’ll get some food when you wake up. I’ll tell you about what Lilly said then if you want.”

He leaned over, slowly sliding his arms around and under her and lifting her up. She tried to wrap her arms around his neck, but they couldn’t move them up that high. It didn’t matter; he had her. It was only two steps back to the bed, and he was laying her down tenderly, drawing the quilt over her frail body. “Yes,” her eyes slide closed, “yes, sleep sounds good. Logan?”

“Yeah?” he whispered, watching as she started to fall asleep.

“Will you stay?” Veronica murmured.

“Hmmm? What do you mean?”

“You won’t leave, right? You’ll still be here when I wake up?” The drowsy voice was getting more difficult to understand, but she reached out to clutch at his hand.

“Yes, of course I will, Ronica. I’ll be here, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Good, thank you” The petite blond slipped under, her face smoothing out and muscles relaxing into liquid. The pain and fear sliding away.

Logan stepped back and settled into the chair at her desk, watching for an hour. He wondered if he was being creepy by doing so, _‘I’m not doing any Edward Cullen creepy watching the girl sleep crap, am I? No, no, I have reason to be here, I need to guard her. Plus, she knows that I’m here.'_

Once he was sure that Veronica was deeply asleep, Logan got up, leaving the bedroom door open so he could hear her if she called for him. Making his way to the living room, he began his search for Keith Mars’ contact information. It’s not that he doesn’t want to take care of Veronica, he does, but he doesn’t think he can do it alone. He can still hear her words echoing in his mind as hands move papers, looking for a bill or anything that will give him the information he seeks.

_“Why did you have to stop me?”_

Terror had his heart pounding, breath coming in rapid succession, making his movements frantic. Terror that the moment she’s left alone, Veronica will try to hurt herself again. Scared that next time he might not get to her in time. _‘There must be some way to get him to come home, to let him know she’s not okay without breaking her confidence… but how?’_ There was also her physical condition to think of. Those bruises are deep and ugly. The way she hissed at the pain and all the reactions he catalogued from her from even the slightest movements, he’s sure that the injuries go down into the muscles. There isn’t a lot they can do for that though except some pain relievers. _‘Shit! I should have had her take some Tylenol! I should also grab some pain meds from the Xterra, but I’m not sure if she’ll want to take those after being drugged.’_

He left the search to head to the bathroom, finding the bottle of pain reliever and bringing it back to the kitchen counter. A quick reach into the refrigerator to find a Pepsi and retrieving it, before he retreats to the table to sit down. _‘There isn’t just the bruises, she could be seriously hurt… inside._ ’ He chokes on the swallow of pop. _‘Did the fucker wear a condom? Oh god, what if she gets pregnant or gets a disease because of this? If she’s this fragile now… How badly will this affect the way she views herself if this asshole gave her an STD?’_

Needing to do something and still unable to find her father’s contact information, Logan silently slipped into her room to grab Veronica’s laptop. He held his breath, unsure if its password protected or not, and sure enough it is. On a hunch, Logan types in “Lilly” and is granted access. Clicking the internet icon, he waited momentarily before getting online. A push back in his chair to grab the pencil and pad of paper he saw on the kitchen counter and then settled back in the chair. A breath to gather both thoughts and courage and then he looked up the information for the Neptune’s Women’s Clinic. What he wants to do is take her to the most expensive doctor he can find, but doesn’t know if Veronica will allow it. She always had an issue with any of them using their wealth to help her, insisting that wasn’t why she was friends with them. It was something he adored about her, but wished more than once she would let him buy her trinkets he knew she wanted. Duncan always was clueless or too self-centered to watch the way she would eye certain things sometimes, joking that it was great that she was ‘such a cheap girlfriend.’

Attention brought back to the screen, he studied over the information provided on the Women’s Clinic website on the services they provide. Then he copies down the phone number and address on the pad of paper. Silence is the only sound in the house while his mind whirled in thought. From out of his pocket he grabbed his phone and hurried through the contacts to find one listed as ‘bastard recovery service’ pushing the button to start the call. The call goes to voicemail immediately as he knew it would, “This is Logan Echolls and you need to call me back immediately. You know the number.” A flip closed the phone and Logan set it on the table, knowing the callback should be within the next thirty minutes.

While he waited, Logan switched over to the Google homepage, pausing and trying to find the working for the information he wanted; finally typing in ‘how to help rape victims.’ Ten pages of articles came up and a sense of overload swept through him. _‘There’s so many but also not enough.’_ Drawing a deep breath, straightening his spine, a sharp click on the keyboard on an article titled **How To Help Your Partner Deal with Sexual Assault** , eyes focused sharply, leaning forward slightly while beginning to read.

Alanis Morissette’s voice suddenly blasted in the room, “Wear it out (the way a three-year-old would do.) Melt it down (you’re gonna have to eventually, anyway.) The fire trucks are coming up around the bed. You live, you learn. You love, you learn. You cry, you learn. You lose you learn. You bleed, you learn. You scream, you learn.”

Logan quickly snatched up his phone, trying to silence it so it won’t wake Veronica, hands trembling slightly and taking a deep breath to steady his voice. “Hey doc, thanks for getting back to me so quickly.”

“That’s what I’m paid to do, Logan. How can I help you today? Do you require my services?”

“Not exactly but I require your help, charge me for an hour if you have to. I need you to give me the name of another doctor…”

“Have my services been in any way inadequate? I assure you I’ve always kept your discretion, Logan. Surely there is no need for you to find someone else!”

“Dammit, would you shut up! Your services have been fine, I’m not looking for another doctor to me so stop worrying, you’ll still be getting regular income.” Logan's voice sneered into the phone, lips curled up as if having smelled something offensive. “Look, I have a friend, she’s badly injured, she will require a doctor who… uh has more knowledge in the female area and I think she would be more comfortable if the doctor was also female. Discretion, of course, if of the utmost importance.”

A pause and then, “You’re sure I can’t be of more help here? I know about the female body. This wouldn’t be my first time with the exam you’re asking for.”

Fingers rose to pinch the bridge of his nose and a loud exhale released from his lips, voice coming through gritted teeth, “I appreciate that, I do. But in this case, I believe a female doctor is imperative. She’s traumatized and I will not have her traumatized further. The exam itself will be damaging enough if I have to guess.” Logan squeezed his eyes shut, hand gripping the cell phone to his ear tighter. “Please, I really need you to help me out. I’m worried about her. She’s so small and… I need to make sure the bastard who did this to her didn’t do something we haven’t yet seen, sometimes that will have more repercussions than she’s already dealing with.”

“Ah, I see. I think I understand more clearly now. I have an associate who can help you. I’ll text the number and let her know to expect your call.”

Tension melted out of his muscles, shoulders slumping down, “Thank you. I appreciate that. Again, bill me for an hour, hell bill me for two, the information is more than worth it.”

“Thank you, Logan. I’ll have that number to you shortly. I’ll call her as soon as I’m off the phone. I do hope your friend will be okay.”

“Again, thanks.” Logan hung up the phone then let his head fall back, thumping against the wall, eyes squeezing shut, willing his stomach to stop somersaulting. ”Fuck!” Hands clenched and unclenched as the anger that had been simmering inside, held back only by the need to take care of Veronica, rose. Mind fogged over with a reddish tint and an almost animalist snarl ripped from his throat. He wanted to punch something, destroy something, tear things apart, throw them around screaming while he did it. _‘No, no, not something, someone. I want to know who did this and I want to make them pay!’_

A sound, quiet like a mouse, the softest shuffle of a body shifting slightly on a bed and a tiny whimper of pain escaping brought him back to his surroundings. The anger and hate sliding back down to a simmer, to wait until it was safe for him to act on it. Not moving, he listened to see if there would be follow up sounds, but there were none. A glance back at the computer in front of him reminded him of what he had been doing before the doctors’ phone call. The phone on the table alerted him of a text message and a sigh of relief slid through him, down his spine when he saw there was only a number provided, feeling like there was tangible evidence that he had accomplished something to help.

Able to focus again, the computer drew attention and for the next two hours, Logan clicked page after page, reading article after article. Stomach knotting and twisting, bile occasionally rising in his throat while taking in the information. Not only on how to help healthily but also on what exam Veronica needed and what tests were necessary to cover all the bases. More than once barely making it to the bathroom for his stomach to empty its contents. Eyes stung, making reading difficult, and he had no recollection of ever crying more than he has in the last twenty-four hours, not even when Lilly died. But he continued to soak in the information found because it was information that could help him help Veronica. In the end, that was what mattered, helping Veronica.

Overloaded and rubbing tired eyes, he shut the laptop back down and walked back to replace it on her desk. Body heavy, he sat down again in the desk chair to observe her sleeping form, curled up, the only part of her seen, the crown of golden hair on the top of her head. One by one his arms folded across the back of the chair and he let his head rest down upon them.

The shrill of a ringing phone jolted Logan awake, blinking rapidly, trying to get his bearings, heart thumping as adrenaline raced. _‘Veronica’s room, desk, must have fallen asleep.’_ Head turned toward her and wondered what to do, if he should answer. She needed sleep. Sleep was the biggest factor in recovery. The decision was taken from him when her hand reached out from the quilt and over to grab the cell, pulling it up to her ear.

“Ello? Hmm? Oh, hey dad! What?” She sat up fast, rubbing at her eyes roughly. “No, just fell asleep doing calculus, isn’t that why they invented it?” The quip was obviously an attempt to deflect, but her voice was too high, too brittle.

Logan brought a hand up to cover his yawn before rubbing at his eyes, twisting his neck to the right and then left to crack it. All of this while wondering if her skill at lying to her dad was admirable or not. ‘ _Her dad! Keith! I need to talk to him, he needs to come home!’_ However, by the time the coherent thoughts finally made an appearance it was too late. She snapped her phone shut and replaced it back on the nightstand. _‘Why didn’t I just think to look in her phone for her number! Stupid, stupid Logan!’_

His face must have shown his thoughts because her blue eyes narrowed. “No Logan, we’re not telling my dad. Never, do you understand me?”

Mesmerized by the fire in her gaze, it was like touching ice so cold it could burn you. With a shake of his head to tear himself away he argued, “Veronica, you didn’t fall down and scrape your knee or bump your head, you were ra- ra- assaulted. You’re bruised all over and I am positive that some of those run deep to the muscle. I’m worried about internal injuries! And-” He bit his lip, trying to fit the stinging in his eyes but feeling the tears well up in them, anyway. _“For fucks sake, this crying needs to stop! I don’t cry!”_ But in that moment, chocolate eyes looked up and caught blue ones in their gaze, “What about other things?” His stomach churned, and he jumped up, starting to pace back and forth, hands pulling his sleeves over his shirt.

The fire in Veronica’s eyes receded, and they grew wide, her head tilting slightly, hands twisting the quilt. “What do you mean other things?” Her voice was an octave higher than normal and broke a few times. “Logan? What do you mean? What things? What am I missing?”

Silent for a few long beats, trying to decide how best to approach the subject he stayed quiet before realizing his mistake. Veronica’s breath quickened and color drained from her face. “Oh god… Logan, what if there was more than one guy who did this? What if they-”

_‘More- more that one? Was that possible? No… no that- that just wasn’t logical. No!’_ Mouth going dry, he needed to stop her from speaking. The rage rushed back and began pounding in his ears again while red tinged his vision. “Ronnie… Ronica,” he pushed the desk chair over to the bed and gently grasped her hands. “Breathe okay? You will make yourself pass out. Slow breaths in and out.”

“But Logan-” the voice fell like a whimper from her pink lips.

“It’s okay, we’ll figure things out. I don’t think- That wasn’t what I meant, but we’ll figure things out. But you need to breathe first. Please, In and then out slowly, just like me okay?” It didn’t matter that Logan wanted to hyperventilate or rage or work himself up until his body just exhausted itself and gave up, what mattered was Veronica and she needed to calm down. If that meant he calmed down too, then he would do it.

Long moments passed, only the sound of labored breathing slowing into regular breaths in the room. His hands reached out slowly to cover her small ones and she let him, even turning hers to grasp onto his. He leaned in carefully, making no sudden movements, and kissed her forehead like he had since they met at twelve. She let out a soft sigh and coiled muscles relaxed. The next sigh she gave was a familiar sounding one. It was one of someone in pain and felt their muscles releasing a bit of that pain. His heart throbbed at his inability to make it better. Another kiss to her forehead and then a soft whisper, “I’m just going to get up for a minute and get you some water and Tylenol, I’ll be right back.”

Her hands clutched at his larger ones, blue eyes looking wide, so large the whites of her eyes were clear all around. A gentle squeeze against delicate skin, “I’ll be right back, Ronica. Not even a minute.” She finally nodded before releasing him. Swift movements to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the fridge along with the bottle of pain reliever on the counter before returning to the room. Into his palm he shook out two and then one more to make it three handing them to her, opening the bottle and handing that over too while she took the medicine, drinking about half of the water with it before setting it down on her nightstand. “Are you hungry? Should I order some food? At the very least you should finish the water, you’re probably dehydrated depending on what they gave you so you need water.” The research and a few of his own experiences made him think she had likely been given GHB but there was no way to know for sure because it would be out of her system at this point with only the aftermath.

Her head moved side to side slowly, and she took a deep breath, arranging the pillows carefully before settling back, sitting up. “What did you mean other things, Logan?” Soft voice, a slight tremble, but she kept it together. Her hand reached out for his again and he took it.

A lump formed in his throat while he fought to keep his voice low and even, knowing this would alarm her no matter what but wanting to do as little damage as possible. “Like I said before, you could have internal damage, rips or tears that need stitches. But Ronnie, you also should have testing for any diseases and… and you also should have something to make sure you don’t get pregnant. I mean, if you want. It’s your body, I don’t want to presume.” Words seem to spill without filter and the urge to clap his hand over his mouth was strong.

Her mouth formed a perfect “O.”

“Pregnant?” The whisper dropped from her lips and her eyes so big he understood that ‘deer in the headlights’ expression meant. “STD? Oh god… I- what do I do, Logan? My dad would find out! I can’t have a baby that happened because of- Plus, I’m too young, I don’t want to be pregnant, I don’t even know if I want kids when I’m older. Kids are fantastic, I just don’t know with the example I’ve had in my life that it’s a decision for me.”

He gently placed a hand on her shoulder. “First, I need you to take a deep breath okay. I have a plan and I can help. I found the address of a woman’s clinic several towns over and can make you an appointment for tomorrow morning if that’s what you want. I’ll go with you and be there as much as you want. I was uh- doing some research and there is a pill they can give you to make sure you don’t become pregnant and they can do an examination and run tests to make sure everything else is okay or if- if it’s not they’ll be able to help you.” Teeth bit into his bottom lip. “But Veronica, rather than take you to the clinic, I would rather have a private doctor come here to see you or if need be, we will go to her. I’m not sure if maybe she would need to see you in an office for this because of special equipment. I got the name of a wonderful doctor to take you to and I want to take you to her if you’ll let me.”

“Logan, I can’t afford that and if I use insurance, dad will find out. I mean, I’m sixteen so legally I have a right to keep my information private even from him but he’s a PI, he’ll figure it out!”

“Don’t worry about the cost, okay? I’ll take care of it. Please, let me take care of you.” He gazed at her with rounded, pleading brown eyes. He felt so helpless, but this was something he could do. He could get her medical care, the best medical care, and make sure they would keep it private. It wouldn’t be his first rodeo with keeping medical information a secret, but she didn’t need to know that part.

“No.” Veronica shook her head. “I can’t let you do that. I’ll- there’s a clinic I can go to where I can get free care.”

His hand squeezed lightly, “Ronnie, please. Will you help put my mind at ease? I’ll keep your secret, but I need to know you’re getting the best care if I do. I don’t mean to say that you wouldn’t get good care at that clinic, but for my peace of mind, please let me take you to the doctor I found. Let me help in this way.”

Veronica stared at the wall, biting her lip as minutes ticked by. Then, drawing a breath, she focused back on him and nodded, “Okay. Thank you, Logan. I’ll pay you back.”

He squeezed her hand again. “Don’t worry about that. How about I go make the appointment for you and then I order us some food? Is there anything that sounds good?”

Veronica’s eyes squeezed shut, mouth twisting a little, hands moving to press on her stomach. “Uh- maybe some sandwiches with soup? Nothing heavy or spicy… chicken noodle?”

Logan lips curved up approvingly and his head nodded, “You got it. Ham and provolone sandwich? Has anything changed?”

Veronica startles, peering with astonished wide blue eyes, “No still the same veggies and everything on it, please. I’ll be out in a few minutes and maybe we can watch a movie?”

“I think that sounds like an excellent plan.” He carefully leaned over and kissed the top of her head, watching to make sure she didn’t flinch. “I’ll be in the living room.”

**Time After Time**

**_Veronica_ **

After Logan left, Veronica curled up under the covers once more. She ached everywhere and wished the Tylenol had more of an effect. Her mind spun, thinking about Logan and his behavior. She saw her friend, not the psychotic jackass of the last two months. Saw how he had reacted in just the scant time… _‘God, was it only yesterday? Why do I feel safe with him and how I can trust that feeling after what’s happened? Can we move past things? Will he really not turn again? How am I supposed to deal with going to the doctor? They will want to- have to touch me. What if I end up with a disease or pregnant?’_

The feeling of being dirty and tainted crawled up her spine. She also felt ashamed of herself. How many times had her father drilled into her head to never accept drinks unless she herself watched them being made or they were in an unopened bottle? She’s fairly certain her dad didn’t know how much drinking went on at parties, but he couldn’t be unaware either. After all, he had been waiting for them the morning after homecoming night.

Heart clenched tightly as she thought of her best friend. She wondered if Lilly really visited her or if it was all a dream, but she was pretty certain it was real. Logan had even said she visited him. Lilly said that the past couldn’t be undone, and now it was up to her to decide how to deal with it and move forward. _‘It would be so easy to try to pretend it never happened, but what kind of person would I become if I did that? Maybe I should try talking to someone, someone who isn’t Mrs. James. I could tell dad I wanted to try counseling again and he would just assume it was about Lilly. My last counselor told me that by law, what we discussed was only between myself and her unless she felt I would harm myself or others. I just won’t tell her about that part.’_

Veronica drew in as deep of a breath as she could and let it out slowly. _‘It would be so easy to find a way to never wake up again, but… I’m stronger than that. I need to fight. To keep going, Lil was right. I’m a fighter, my dad raised a fighter. And- and if Logan meant what he said, then I have my other best friend back in my life. He said he’ll help me figure out who did this, we’ll make them pay for this. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I believe him, I believe Logan wants to make things right. I believe he’s sorry. God- I can’t imagine how much pain he’s been in and he’s always turned pain into anger. Maybe I can help him while he helps me… we can help each other.’_

Veronica rose and went to the bathroom, staring at the reflection in the mirror. _‘I don’t want to give up. It will hurt, but I want to fight. The time has come to make some changes to who I am though. I won’t let people hurt me like they have been. It’s also time to stop being this pink princess. I’m not a girl that waits for someone to rescue her, I’m going to do the rescuing.’_

  
  
She gazed with fresh eyes, taking in the picture of herself, _‘The hair has to go, it’s time for a change. Maybe I can convince Logan to take me somewhere to get a haircut tomorrow after my appointment. I have saved up enough for that. Maybe something short and badass.’_

Turning away from the bathroom mirror and shutting off the light, stepping to her closet to grab a blanket to curl up under on the couch. Opening the doors, the first thing that greeted her was an ocean of pink. Various shades up and down the pink spectrum. _‘These need to go too. Time for a new wardrobe. I’ll hit up the thrift stores and find some clothes to fit my fresh attitude. The counselor gave me one piece of advice that I liked- fake it until you make it. That’s what I’ll do, I’ll fake this until I make it and only let my guard down around one, maybe two people I really trust. I can’t believe I’m saying this after these last two months, but Logan is one of those people.’_

Voice strong in the silent room, Veronica gazed up, “You better be right Lilly Kane because if you’re wrong about him, I’ll find a way to make you pay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A thank you to my amazing husband with whom I would never be brave enough to reach inside of myself to draw on things to write this story in a realistic way. Also a thank you to my beta for this story, who asked to remain nameless. Many hugs and boxes of tissues to help with the tears I made you cry.


	3. Have A Little Faith In Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica visits the doctor. Logan makes his stance clear to others when it comes to Veronica. And Logan and Veronica makes steps in mending their fractured friendship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to remind everyone that when this story takes place, there has not been a year long war between Logan and Veronica. This is the beginning of December which means at the most, it's maybe been a month and a half. I'm not excusing Logan's action and I promise you that there is talking that needs to be done, I'm only reminding you that there hasn't been anywhere near the damage done as there is when the show starts. 
> 
> Also, reminder that I changed a few things in my story. Logan did not bring ANY drugs to the party. And not everything (i.e. the salt lick) is what you think it is. You will have to wait for time to reveal what that means but keep that in mind as you read this story.
> 
> Finally, I need to add a huge thank you to VMarsTrek for taking on the daunting task of beta'ing this story for me and making it better for all of you. 
> 
> TW: Sexual Assault Discussion and Aftermath

Veronica's hand grips Logan’s. Her body shakes while they wait in the private room. After an eternity, a nurse calls her name and leads them to an exam room, where the waiting starts again. Finally, they hear a soft knock on the door and both their heads jerk upward. A beautiful statuesque woman with ebony skin, kind eyes and dark hair pulled into a bun enters. She’s wearing a white coat over a dark blue dress and her lips turn upward in a gentle, comforting smile. 

“Hello, I’m Doctor Holiday. You must be Veronica.” Although her voice is soothing and quiet, Veronica leans more into his side. It’s all he can do not to put his arm around her. The doctor draws out the stool from beneath the desk before rolling it over to where the two of them sit. “Veronica, would you like Logan to stay for this?” 

“Uh-” she tightens her grip on his hand. “Yes, please. I don't want to be alone and he'll prot- he's my friend.”

His heart wants to leap with joy when she says that, but Logan tempers it. He isn't sure if she means the words or if they come from a place of fear. If she needs someone familiar to stay with her, even if it is the jackass who tormented her these last two months. And he hates that the words are necessary, that they come because somebody hurt Veronica.

The doctor nods. “Okay, it’s important for you to understand that you can change your mind any time. I’m sure that Logan won’t mind stepping outside the room if you want him to.” She glances over to him. Her dark eyes are warm and she gives him a brief smile before turning her attention back to Veronica.

“Hey.” Logan squeezes Veronica’s hand more tightly and waits until she turns to look at him. “I’ll stay for whatever you want me to. If you need me to go outside because it’s too uncomfortable, that’s okay too, Ronica. You tell us what you need, you’re the one in charge.” 

Veronica lets out a slow breath and nods, not letting go of his hand while she turns her attention back to the doctor. 

“Veronica, can you tell me what happened? What brings you in here to see me today?”

Logan watches while her breaths grow shorter and louder. The color drains from her already pale face and he worries about her passing out. His heart leaps to his throat when her trembling almost shakes the chair she’s sitting in. Logan's stomach churns, and he wishes to wrap his arms around her and never let her out of them. _I will protect her for the rest of my life with everything that I am. I will never let anyone hurt her again. I’ll show her it’s okay to trust me and prove it to her every day._

Doctor Holiday's voice pulls him from his inner thoughts. “How about we start with some yes or no questions? That way you can answer or shake or nod your head, okay? No matter what you say in this room, this is where it will stay. You have a right to medical privacy. That means whatever you tell me, stays between us. And Logan here won't tell anyone either. Right, Logan?”

His head moves up and down in a vehement motion at her words, willing Veronica to believe them. To let the doctor help her. After a long pause, Veronica nods in agreement. 

“Alright, when your friend made the appointment, he said you needed to do a health check, including a STD panel and pregnancy test. Is this correct?”

Veronica’s head drops, chin touching her chest. A shudder runs through her body and a tiny broken sound, like a wounded animal would make, comes from her throat before she lifts her head again. Logan bites his tongue to stop from gasping, the pain in his chest sharp, watching her suffer.

“Logan also mentioned there are some injuries to your body that I need to examine. Is this correct?” 

“Yea- yes.” Veronica's whisper breaks with a sob, a tear sliding down her cheek. Logan fishes in his pocket for the Kleenex he stuffed there and presses it into her hand. She gives him a small smile in return, wiping at the tear. 

In a cautious voice the doctor asks, “Veronica, did someone hurt you against your will?” 

A choked whimper breaks free from Veronica. “Yes... yes. I- I was so stupid. It’s my fault.” She pulls away from his side and wraps her arms around herself. Veronica’s head drops again, and she squeezes her eyes tightly shut, as if she can shut out the world this way.

Logan’s lets her pull away and his other hand clenches into a fist. He wants to pull her close, to swathe her in the protection of his arms. He is hesitant though, terrified that doing so will send Veronica into a panic attack. Instead, Logan brings a light hand up to stroke her hair, and forces his voice to come out steady, strong but soft, “No, no Ronnie. It’s not your fault. This isn’t your fault.” 

His heart is cracking, Logan can feel it in his chest. Breaking for Veronica. Bleeding out for the girl he cares for. 

Another sob breaks from Veronica, but this one sounds like a dark, bitter laugh. “I went to the party. You think I wasn’t well aware that nobody wanted me there? I knew people hated me for what my father did. But no, I just had to show up to prove to them they couldn’t keep me down.” 

Logan winces. His mind races, thinking of how his actions caused others to act toward the person who didn't deserve it. All because he was too angry to deal with things and needed someone to blame. 

“Veronica.” The doctor’s voice breaks in, and she places her hand cautiously on Veronica's knee. “It doesn’t matter that you went somewhere where people didn’t like you. Nor does it matter if you had something to drink that night. And it doesn’t matter what you might have been wearing. Nobody had the right to assault you. _Nobody_ had the right to take away your power and abuse your body. No matter what. This isn’t _your_ fault; this is on the person who hurt you and only them.”

In his mind, Logan disagrees. He knows this is also on him. But it isn’t the time to argue semantics. Now is the time to help Veronica. She’s all that matters.

When Veronica presses tightly to his side, Logan takes a deep breath and slowly wraps an arm around her, watching her face for any reaction. When she presses closer to him, he holds her to his side, hand moving up and down her arm, being careful to keep his touch soft and light. Logan makes sure she can always see him so he won't startle her. He treats her the way he would a scared animal and knows she would hate it if she realized it. 

“Can you continue, Veronica? The more you can tell me, the more I can help you.” Doctor Holiday presses with caution, keeping her voice soft and gentle.

Veronica struggles to get herself under control and gasps for breaths, but nods. “I went to this party. It was so stupid, but I wanted to prove this point that they couldn’t beat me.” Her blond head shakes from side to side and her blue eyes close for a moment before she opens them again. 

“Such a dumb, irresponsible move. I- I drank a coke but I don’t remember who gave it to me. I didn't even drink alcohol. I didn’t- think. Another stupid move. My dad taught me better than that. Never take a drink unless you know who poured it, I- I don’t know, I wasn’t using my brain.” 

Tears stream down her cheeks. “Someone laced the drink with something. It might have been GHB. From the little research I've done, it fits. I remember feeling light, like I was going to float away. I was dancing and spinning, looking up at the stars, and then I was so tired. I went to the pool, laid down on a lounger, thinking I would rest for a bit. That’s the last thing I remember.”

Veronica’s voice drops so low, both the doctor and Logan have to strain to hear her. It takes everything inside of him to stay next to her. All his strength to focus on her and help her. Because he wants to run and vomit, Logan wants to scream until his voice gives out. The pulsing anger inside demands he track down every person at that party and find out who did it. He needs to find out who gave her the drugs and who hurt her. And then Logan wants to kill them. There will be time for that later, though. _Ronica needs him, and she is the number one priority._

“I woke up the next morning in a strange bedroom. Naked in a bed, with my dress ripped and panties on the floor, and I had all these bruises.” A sob retches from Veronica’s throat and Logan feels like dropping to his knees with the pain of it. It sounds like someone reached in and pulled it from her soul. She pulls away from Logan and curls herself into a ball on the chair. Her knees draw up tight against her chest and trembling arms wrap around them.

Veronica's slight body rocks back and forth. “I don’t know who did this! I don’t know who hurt me! And now I have to do these tests, and what if they gave me a disease? What if I am pregnant because of this? I can’t handle this, it’s too much!”

Doctor Holiday glances at Logan. Her soft eyes are glassy, and she holds a hand against her chest. After a long moment, she swallows and speaks in a soft voice, “Logan, perhaps it would be a good time for you to wait outside.”

“NO!” Veronica’s head whips up, face blotchy and tear stained. Body twisting while her hand reaches out and grasps Logan’s again. “No, I need him here with me, please.” The words come in gulping gasps, blue eyes wild and wide. Like she cannot focus on any one thing. 

“Okay, Veronica. He doesn't have to leave. Logan can stay if you want him too. It was only a suggestion. I want you to be comfortable enough to tell me all you can.” 

His thumb is tender as it strokes over the hand grasping his, “I’ll only leave if you want me too, Ronica. But I’ll be near the door, so I’ll be near if you need me. Okay?”

She calms a little, and her gaze locks onto his. Logan brushes this thumb across her knuckles. “I know how scary this is and how much you hurt. I’m so proud of you, Ronica. You’re the strongest person I know.” 

“We’re going to take care of you, I promise. I wish I could make it so it didn't happen. I would take your place if I could. But the doctor and me, we're going to take care of you now.” Logan struggles to keep his voice calm and sure, knowing it was what she needs from him. His own tears threaten to fall, but he holds them back. _Veronica is the only thing that matters._

He watches while Veronica’s breathing evens out more, her gaze staying on his. When he realizes how close she is watching him, Logan takes exaggerated deep breaths. Sure enough, she takes the same deeper breaths herself.

Ten minutes later, Veronica is calm enough to keep going. She turns back to the doctor, but her hand never leaves Logan’s. 

“That’s all I know.” Veronica slowly lowers her head. Her gaze falls to the floor and cheeks turn red. Slight shoulders turn inward toward her body and then she brings her hand to her face, burying it so she can’t be seen. Logan recognizes the shame she is exhibiting. He sees it every day when he looks in the mirror.

Logan's thumb keeps circling on the back of her hand. He leans in a little, but not too close to frighten her. He needs to make sure she will hear him whisper. “It's not your fault. This is not your fault. No matter what, nobody had a right to hurt you. Not in any way.” 

A sniffle escapes, but Veronica's head comes back up and Doctor Holiday gives her a gentle smile. “Logan is right, Veronica. And I promise I’m not asking you to tell me to hurt you more. I’m asking so I can make sure I give you all the medical care you need. I don’t want to hurt you. Okay?”

Veronica's head moves slow, up and down while she nods. She lets out a shaky breath. “I know.” 

“Good. Can you tell me how long ago this happened?” 

She opens her mouth and then closes it, a shudder running through her and Logan steps in, at least being able to help this way. “A day and a half ago. It was the night of the 6th that someone gave her the drugs.”

Again, the doctor nods. “I’m going to order additional tests along with the other regular ones we do as a routine. If you decide to report it, it will be good evidence. It will also be helpful to know if GHB is what they gave you. It can help me tell you what to do to recover in the healthiest way.”

“I thought you couldn’t test for it unless it was right away.” Veronica’s eyebrows furrow and her head tilts. Logan glances from her back to the doctor.

“That used to be true, but it’s not anymore. While some tests may come back negative because of the time lapse, others will show positive. There are now tests for urine, blood, saliva and hair. Whatever they gave you, there is a good chance we can find out what it was.” 

Veronica's fingers squeeze Logan's, “Information is good.” The words come out more of a mumble as she's nodding.

Logan isn’t sure if she's talking to herself or them. He stays quiet and holds her hand, offering comfort in the only way he knows how.

The doctor nods before going on. “We’ll also do a full ten-panel STD screening. And with your permission, I will take some other samples to test.” 

Taking a breath, Doctor Holiday continues. “I need to look at the bruises and make sure there isn’t damage that needs to be medically treated. Generally, we can only let time heal bruises, but I can recommend a cream that will help with the pain and healing process.” 

“I would like to do a gynecological examination, Veronica. I know that sounds daunting after what you’ve just been through, but it’s important. I need to make sure that there isn’t internal damage that needs attention.”

Veronica brings a shaky hand to her throat and nods. “And what about pregnancy?”

A kind smile crosses the doctor’s face. “I would like to administer the Plan B pill here in the office, with your permission. That will prevent any pregnancy from happening.”

Veronica sags against Logan, and another sob works its way out of her mouth. Her hand moves from throat to cover her mouth while tears start streaking down her cheeks again. “Yes, yes. Oh, thank you doctor, thank you. I just- I can’t.”

Doctor Holiday places a hand back on her knee, watching for any discomfort. “You shouldn’t have to. Your body, your choice.” 

Logan wraps his arm around Veronica again, holding her carefully. “It’s going to be okay, Ronnie. I know I can’t make it go away, but I can make sure you get taken care of. We can make sure you don’t have to go through anything more physically. I’m so sorry this happened to you Ronica.”

In that moment Logan wishes he could curl himself up in a ball and cry, sob the way he’s never been allowed to because he couldn’t show weakness. He wishes he could make Aaron take a belt to his back or do it himself. _Maybe I can get Weevil to kick my ass. He would have no problem doing it and would do it right._

Both women turn to him, but Veronica beats the doctor to the punch. Grasping his other hand and holding it between both of hers, blue eyes catch his gaze, imploring “Logan. Lo, no, this isn’t your fault either. You didn’t do this.”

With a tilted head, brown eyes narrowed, the doctor observed the scene. When she speaks, her voice comes out with some sharpness. “I’m sorry, I need to ask. Logan did you-” 

She doesn't finish the question before Veronica’s head whips back to face her. Her voice is vehement while she shakes her head hard. “No. Stop there. He had nothing to do with this!” The words snarl out of her. 

Veronica’s chin lifts and she meets the doctor's gaze evenly, “Look, Logan and I have things to work out and that is all I will say because it’s private. But Logan did not do this to me, he is not responsible for what happened to me. He wasn’t even at the party when this happened. There will be no more questioning him, understand? I know you needed to ask and I appreciate that you’re concerned, but Lo had nothing to do with this.”

Gaze fixed on her, Logan knows his mouth is slightly open, but he can’t think enough to close it. Logan can’t believe she’s defending him like this, doesn’t know what to do with the warm feeling that fills him, battling with his heavy guilt.

There’s a pregnant pause in which none of them move, and only the sound of breathing is heard. Finally, Doctor Holiday finally nods. “Okay, I apologize, Veronica, and to you Logan.” Both of them let out a breath and relax a little.

Logan draws a breath and turns back toward the doctor, wanting to get things back on track. “What does the panel test for?” 

The doctor clears her throat, focusing back on task. “The tests are for chlamydia, gonorrhea, Hepatitis A, B and C, Syphilis, Herpes one and two, and HIV one Ab, and one Ag” 

Logan processes this. “And is there any other testing she needs?” 

“No, this is the most complete test there is.” The doctor reassures both of them, meeting first Veronica's eyes and then his.

“Can I also get tested?” 

Both women’s eyes blink wide, then Doctor Holiday nods. Logan’s cheeks grow heated. “I- I haven’t been with as many girls as people think and I’ve used protection, but a screening won’t hurt, right?”

Veronica's hand clutches his and she looks from him to the doctor, waiting for her to answer him. “You are correct. If you’re sexually active and have had more than one partner, then it’s a good idea to get periodic testing. This is especially true if you don't know their sexual histories.” 

Logan nods again and brushes his thumb against Veronica's hand absently. “I want to be cautious.” He drops his gaze to the floor. “I've done some stupid stuff in the last few months and I want to make sure I’m safe. I plan to stop being so stupid, but it would be good to make sure nothing is wrong.” 

Veronica grips his hand tighter to grab his attention, and he lifts his head to look at her. “That’s a good idea, Lo. It will make me feel better knowing everything is okay with you too.” A tentative smile crosses her lips.

Logan gives her a soft smile and brings his forehead to hers. “You don’t need to worry about me right now, Ronica. Let me worry about you.”

Her eyes seem to search his, and then her voice comes in a soft whisper. “You’re my friend, Logan. That makes you mine to worry about whether you like it or not.” A gentle and brief smile takes his breath away. _I need to do everything in my power to make sure she smiles as often as possible._

“That makes you mine to worry about too.” His voice is a little choked, and he has to push it past the lump in his throat. 

Pink fills Veronica’s cheeks, but she tilts her head a little in concession before breathing out. Giving his hand a gentle squeeze, she breaks eye contact and turns toward the other person in the room. “Okay Doctor, I’m willing to do everything you suggest. Where do we begin?”

“I’m going to leave the room for a moment and let you get changed into a gown. Then I’ll come back in with a female nurse who needs to be in the room with me while I examine you, Veronica. But like me, she will never share your medical history. The only person who can share that is you.” Dr. Holiday moves over to Logan and a sympathetic smile crosses her face once more. “This would probably be that good time for you to wait outside. It's going to be a difficult examination for her.” 

Logan's throat feels like it closes and he struggles to swallow while nodding his head. His stomach knots tightly and breakfast threatens to reappear. Shifting, he moves to face Veronica, wanting to reassure her he'll be right outside the door. The sting of her nails digging into his palm stops him and his eyes fly to her face. 

She's white as a sheet and her breathing is irregular and too shallow. The instinct inside of him screams to help her, to take care of her, to take her into his arms and hide her. Protect her from anything that ever might come close to hurting her. But the words from the internet stop him, knowing that will scare her more. He brings his other hand to cover hers, holding Veronica's soft hand in both of his larger ones.

“Pl- please.” Veronica gasps, breaths ragging and rasping in and out. “I need him. Can’t he stay with me? Please? I don’t want to be alone!” 

“Veronica, Veronica.” Doctor Holiday's voice becomes urgent. “I need you to calm down and take deep breaths like Logan is going to take okay? If you want him to stay, he can stay. He doesn’t have to leave, I thought you might be more comfortable. I clearly misread the situation and I’m sorry. I should have asked you what you wanted, not assumed. It’s okay. Look at how Logan is breathing, nice and deep, can you copy him?” 

Exaggerating, he draws in deep breaths through his nose and lets them out through his mouth. Studying him, Veronica struggles to do the same. “You’re doing good, V, just like that.” He takes the hand that grips his and brings it to his chest, letting her feel the breaths. “Like this, you got this. It’s okay. I won’t leave you if you don’t want me to. I promise.” 

Blue eyes search his and after a few minutes her breaths even out. “Okay, don't leave.”

“Never, never again.” Logan shakes his head back and forth. “You’ll be so sick of me you’ll be pushing me away.”

A soft laugh huffs out of her and the tension drains from his tight shoulders, letting them slump down. The doctor also seems to relax, judging by the long breath he hears. Her voice did not break the eye contact between Veronica and himself. “Okay, I’m going to step out for a few minutes while you change. The bathroom is right there and you’ll find gowns inside.” 

Veronica nods and they hear the door click close. She turns her eyes on him then, “Thank you.” The whisper is barely audible, but Logan hears it clear as day. 

He responds with the only word that comes to mind, his whisper is just as soft. “Always.”

**Have A Little Faith In Me**

After changing into a gown, Logan helps Veronica up onto the examination table. He keeps his eyes locked on her, not wanting her to feel any more exposed than she already does. Once she's settled, he locates a blanket in a cupboard and drapes one over her shivering shoulders and another over her legs.

“I need you here but- but I don’t know how I’m going to do this with you here.” Tears well up in cerulean blue eyes and a piercing pain in his chest has him struggling not to double over. 

Instead, he swallows and gathers up his courage and strength for his Ronica. “What are you afraid of? What is it you're struggling with the most?” Logan keeps his voice quiet and calm despite the storm of emotion that rage inside of him. 

“You- you’ll see me. I’m... I was a vir-” Her body trembles again, and he rubs his thumb along the back of her hand like he had earlier.

“What about,” His teeth bite into his lip, mind casting around for a solution. “How about if I face you the entire time, with my back to the doctor? And I stay up near your head? That way I'll only be able to see your face and the wall behind you, nothing else. And, I can hold your hand all you want me too.” Logan studies her face, hoping to see some relief there. 

“That sounds good.” She graces him with a tiny smile. Veronica starts to say more, but they're interrupted by a knock on the door. It opens with caution before a nurse slips into the room.

“Hi, I’m Krysten, Doctor Holiday’s nurse. I need to set some things up and then we’ll be ready for you. How are you doing, Veronica? Can I get you anything? Another blanket or some water?” 

“No thanks, I’m okay. I want to get this over with.”

Krysten gives her an empathetic nod before moving about the room. She gathers the instruments needed and places them on a rolling tray. Putting on gloves, she explains each to Veronica while opening them from their sterilized packages. Logan pays attention and grimaces several times, happy to be a male. But he appreciates the nurse preparing Veronica for what will happen and what the doctor will do.

About five minutes later Doctor Holiday re-enters and smiles softly. “Ready?” 

"As I'm ever going to be." Veronica murmurs while a shudder runs through her. When the doctor gently instructs Veronica to lie down, Logan helps her, supporting her back and trying to ease the movements as much as he can. Then he turns to face the other way, retaking the hand she holds up for him.

With as much of a smile as he can muster, he affixes his gaze firmly on hers. “Squeeze as tight as you need to, okay?” 

“What if I hurt you?”

“Pshaw, you can’t hurt me. I've been working out! Plus, how many times did you almost bite my fingers off trying to take food? You haven't hurt me yet, Veronica Mars.” 

“I never bit your fingers off.” Her eyes narrow before rolling. 

“Really? Remember that time I took the last cheesecake egg roll the night Lilly made us watch _Legally Blonde_?” 

“That never happened, and you have no proof. And even if it did, you would have deserved it for taking the last cheesecake egg roll. Everyone knows the last one always belongs to me, Logan Echolls. It's been that way since the beginning of time and will be that way until the end of time.” Veronica sniffs and lifts her chin. Logan bites the inside of his cheek, trying not to laugh. 

It changes in a second, when Veronica grips his hand and whimpers. Doctor Holiday’s voice floats toward them in a quiet tone. “I’m sorry, Veronica. I know this is uncomfortable. I'll do this as quickly as possible, but I need to be thorough.”

Something flashes in her blue eyes and she grits her teeth before nodding. Gripping his hand again, another quiet sound escapes her throat, and she glances away. Logan rubs his thumb along her knuckles and brings his other hand to her cheek furthest away from him. 

Using the most tender touch he can, he turns her head back toward him. “Keep looking at me, Ronica. Keep talking to me. Yell at me if you want. Rage if you want. We’ll get through this together. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere, baby. I wish I could take this away for you. I’m so sorry.” 

Tears fill her blue eyes and stream down her cheeks without a sound. She keeps her gaze on his though, gripping his hand like he's her lifeline. Nothing matters to Logan right now but her, giving Veronica everything he can. He wills his strength to her, hoping it can flow through their clasped hands.

“Ta — talk to me, pl — please.” Veronica gasps and stutters, struggling to get the words out between her teeth. “Distract me, talk to me.” 

Logan’s mind spins in a wild fashion. He searches for some subject, something he could say to divert Veronica's mind. “Did I ever tell you about the time Dick tased himself because he wanted to know what it would feel like?” 

Her eyes grow wide for a second, mouth drops open, and she shakes her head.

“So, we were sitting around his house one night. I don’t remember who all was there. I know Duncan and John, and I'm almost sure Casey was there. We had been drinking and daring each other to general dumbass stuff like normal. We went inside and we were watching one of those live cop shows or whatever and the subject of tasers got brought up.”

Logan rolls his eyes. “Turns out that Big Dick had one. It was one like you have, not like the cops carry. Even so, it was still a taser. So Dick talks about how he wants to know what it feels like. Someone dares Beaver of all people to do it. Dick goes and gets the taser and gives it to his brother.”

“V’ronica, none of us thought he would actually pull the trigger, but he did. He tased Dick for like ten seconds. The dumbass laughed through it! He said something about it tickling, but yeah- clearly it affected him because he couldn’t walk for about an hour. He looked like a newborn animal trying to walk!” Logan can't help the chuckle that escapes at the memory. 

“I don’t know if I should laugh that he tased himself or feel horrified! What were you guys thinking? You could have hurt yourselves!” Logan’s neck relaxes from its stiff position as her voice comes out stronger, that familiar scolding tone. A smile threatening to spread while she chides him.

“I was a mixture of both, to tell the truth. Cassidy felt so upset with himself and we had to calm him down. He felt so bad about what he had done, even though Dick kept telling him to.” 

Veronica lets out a breath and starts to give him a small nod when Doctor Holiday’s voice interrupts again. “Veronica, you have a lot of internal bruising and a couple of cuts. There is one that requires a couple of stitches. I’m going to do that now, okay? Then this part will be over. You've done amazing.” Logan gives her hand an encouraging squeeze.

After drawing in a deep breath, her gaze meets his and she nods. “Alright, I’m ready.” 

Logan changes his hold on her hand, letting their fingers link, almost making a fist. “You’ve got this.” He managed a brief smile. “So what would you like to do after this is over?” He tries to distract her again.

A gasp escapes Veronica and her body trembles. Logan takes deep breaths, guiding her to do the same, brushing her hair back from her face with his free hand. She finally answers, voice high and tight like she's forcing the words out. “I was thinking about lunch. Then, there is something I would like to do if you will take me.”

“Anywhere, what do you want?” He brings their linked hands up and kisses her knuckles, gazing intently at her. 

“I want to cut my hair.” 

This is the last thing Logan expects her to say and the words come out before he can stop them, “Why? Are you sure?” 

Breathing out through the pain in a controlled manner, her voice is more steady this time. “I am, I've thought about it for a long time. It’s time for a change. I want to change my wardrobe too. But that will have to wait for another day, I think lunch and the haircut is all I’ll have energy for.” Veronica winces again and holds her breath.

"Breathe, Ronica. Breathe with me. Come on, you've got this. You're doing so good, you're so strong." She breathes with him again. For a moment, all they hear is the sound of the doctor working and their breathing.

Logan tries to distract again. “Okay, if you’re sure, I’ll take you. And as soon as you feel ready, we’ll go get you a new wardrobe. I’m paying.” He stopped her oncoming protest with a look. “Let me do this.” He softens his voice. “Please, let me do this for you?” 

Veronica swallows, and then her head moves up and down. “Thank you, Lo.” 

A genuine smile crosses his face. “Always, Sugarpuss.” Veronica rolls her eyes.

The doctor’s voice breaks into the bubble. “Okay, we’re finished with that part. You did great, Veronica. I’m going to clean you up a little and then let you sit up. We’ll talk for a minute before moving on, okay?”

“Yes, thank you.” Her voice is small again and his heart cracks. 

Logan kisses her forehead and says in a quiet voice, wanting to make sure she hears him. “I’m so proud of you, Ronica. You are so strong.”

Her cheeks pinken, but she squeezes his hand in reply.

Five minutes later she is sitting up, a blanket covering her again. Logan has turned around for the moment, but they still hold hands as they face the doctor. 

“There is obvious evidence of trauma, Veronica.” Doctor Holiday’s voice is gentle. Her hand moves with caution to touch Veronica's knee. “It will take time to heal. I had to stitch the one laceration with three stitches which will dissolve on their own. But I would like to have you come back in three weeks to see me so I can do another exam to check on the healing process.”

"It will be less painful, I promise you. To begin with, you will be most of the way, if not completely healed. And, I won’t take any samples like I took today. So it will only be a little uncomfortable at most, like a regular exam.” 

Veronica hesitated, “I uh- I don’t…” 

His voice is gentle but firm when Logan breaks in. He tugs on her hand so she looks at him. “Don’t worry about the cost. Remember what I said? Please let me do this? I want to make sure everything is okay for you.” 

Something passes between the two of them. A silent moment full of a tangible heaviness Logan can feel both feel but can't identify. Finally, Veronica draws in a deep breath. “Okay, but I’ll find a way to pay you back.”

He gives her a soft smile and turns his attention back to the doctor who is watching them. Her eyes appear curious and she looks like Veronica when she's working a case and trying to figure out a clue.

Seeing both of their attention on her again, she shakes her head and clears her throat. “I took samples but didn’t find evidence of semen. I’ll know more when I get the results back, but I am almost positive what I took samples of was lubricant. While I can't tell you with one hundred percent, and I still recommend that you take Plan B, it's good news. This is a good indication that whoever did this to you wore a condom.”

Veronica’s shoulders drop, and a sob escapes her. Logan wraps an arm around her shoulder and she turns to throw her arms around him. Holding her with care, knowing that any affection could trigger her or hurt her, he rubs her back. Logan lets her get her tears out, not caring they are soaking into his t-shirt. He rubs her shoulders and murmurs that he is here for her. Whispers that this is such good news. Reasserts she is so strong and how proud he is of her.

The storm passes and though she still trembles, Veronica wipes the last of the tears from her eyes. She pulls back, turning her attention back to the doctor but stays leaning into Logan. 

“When was your last period, Veronica?” Doctor Holiday pats her knee.

“I finished it three days before- before this happened.”

“I hate to use the phrase that’s good but, for this purpose it is. This, combined with how soon after you’ll be taking the pill, means you will have the most effective results with it.”

“Ca- can you explain it a little better to me? Does it make me- uh-” 

The doctor seems to understand what she is trying to ask. “No. This is like being on birth control. This will prevent any eggs from fertilizing should there be one there. While this isn't permanent birth control, in an emergency, it’s an excellent substitute.” 

Veronica nodded. “I would like to take it, I don’t want to become pregnant. I know that I wouldn’t be able to handle that. I'm too young and I'm not ready.”

The doctor pats her knee again, “And that is okay, those feelings are normal, Veronica. You don't need to feel any shame over them. Please remember this. This is not your fault. None of this is. I know I keep saying this over and over, but you need to hear it until you believe it in your heart. I wish I had a magic pill I could give you that would do that. Unfortunately, only time and processing the event will allow that to happen.”

Logan bobs his head in agreement. His thumb making circles on her shoulder. He leans in and kisses the crown of her head. He has kissed her like this since they were twelve years old. When he pulls back, he wants to kick himself. She's traumatized, not ready for touch, and he didn't think. _Stupid, stupid Logan!_

With tenderness, he slides his arm from around her and takes her hand again. Determination straightens his spine. He will be here for her and give her all the support she needs, but she needs to tell him what is okay and what is not. He's grateful that so far she hasn't reacted in a way that isn't positive to his comfort. Logan reminds himself to be careful with her.

Doctor Holiday's voice breaks into his maudlin thoughts. She's speaking to Veronica in a gentle tone, like she's afraid to scare her too. “Now, will you allow me to look at the bruises hidden by your gown? I can see the ones on your arms and legs, but I would like to examine all the others. They look pretty painful.” Logan glances at the doctor, but all he sees is compassion in her eyes while she focuses on her patient. Tilting his head, Logan decides he likes her and is glad she is who he brought his Ronica too.

Face turning a dark pink, Veronica nods and looks up at Logan. “Will you uh, turn around again.” She adds in a hasty voice. “Please.”

He gives her a wobbly smile and does as she asks, hearing the gown slipping down her body. Logan closes his eyes. Giving Veronica her privacy. But also because her bruised, battered body sends sharp pains shooting through his chest. 

Some unknown person hurt her in the worst way and rage bubbles in his soul. Red tinges the edges of his vision even through closed eyes. Drawing in a deep breath, he pushes it down for later.

He isn't sure who is comforting who while he clutches her hand. Forcing his breaths to stay deep and even, struggling to remain strong for Veronica. 

Doctor Holiday clucks her tongue. Every time a gasp or soft cry escapes Veronica, she apologizes in a soft voice. Each one another dagger to Logan's heart. He doesn’t think she could clench his hand any tighter. _Distract her again._

He opens his mouth and says the first thing that comes to mind. “Hey Ronica, this summer you should let me teach you how to surf. You would be amazing on a surfboard and I know you can do it. Let me show you why I love it so much.”

This time a disbelieving scoff that comes from Veronica. Peeking open his eyes, Logan sees her glaring at him. “I've already attempted that once, remember? And the results were horrible.” Her nose wrinkles. 

He rolls his eyes. “That was with Donut. He couldn’t teach someone to make their way out of a paper bag. I can teach you and we’ll take it slow. We can work on the basics on dry land and get you strong with those until it’s warmer. I know you won’t want to hit the cold water, even in a wetsuit. By the time you're ready to get wet, the motions will be natural. Then we'll only have to focus on the new stuff the ocean adds.” 

She's silent for a minute. The only indication of pain is a wince and then a squeeze of his hand. Finally, Veronica narrows her eyes and smiles a little. “I’ll let you teach me to surf if I get to teach you how to bake.”

Logan checks to see if she's serious and sees Veronica smirking at him. Her eyes glint. She's daring him. Believing that he won’t do it and he’ll let this go if she makes it into a quid pro qo.

“Deal.” Logan gives her his best smirk, keeping the jackass part out of it. He doesn't want to give her any reminders of how he's acted lately.

Her blue eyes open wide. “Wait, are you serious?” 

A chuckle rumbles from Logan’s chest. “Yes, I'm serious. And, I have two witnesses that you agreed so no take backs.” He can't resist sticking his tongue out at her. 

She sticks her tongue back out at him but doesn't look displeased. Warmth curls in his belly at the sight. At least until she winces and cries out again. Tears fill her eyes and Logan fervently wishes he could take the pain away.

“I’m sorry, Veronica. That was the last one, I’m done examining you.” Doctor Holiday's voice is calm, but Logan thinks he hears a note tremor in it.

When she's finished, he shuts his eyes again while the doctor helps her get her gown back in place.

“I’m going to give you a moment to get dressed again. I'll take these samples to the lab and be back for us to talk for a bit. Then we need to get some blood drawn for both of you and mouth swabs and I’ll administer the pill and you’re done.” 

Her breath is audible when she lets it out, and Veronica closes her eyes. Her shoulders drop, back relaxing from its tight, straight posture. “Okay, that sounds good. Thank you.” 

Once the doctor and nurse leave the room, Logan helps Veronica off the table and to the restroom. Then, he sits back down on the chair he sat in to wait the first time. He can hear Veronica struggling a little to dress and wants to offer to help, but thinks that would offend her.

An agonizing time later, Veronica joins him, taking his hand again. The warmth Logan felt earlier returns. It fills his entire body, and he links their fingers together.

Before either can say anything, a knock sounds on the door. Doctor Holiday re-enters, taking the stool and bringing it back over to the pair.

She gives them both a kind smile and then focuses on Veronica. “You have two types of bruising, subcutaneous and intramuscular. Subcutaneous are the bruises that are only skin deep. Intramuscular are one that are bruising the muscle.” 

“I wish I had something I could give you to heal these, but all that will work is time. There are some things you can do to help, though. Icing the bruises for ten to twenty minutes at a time can help. Though with the amount of bruising you have, this will probably be difficult. And there isn’t a way to ice internal bruises.” 

“What I would recommend instead is heat. Warm baths to be more specific. Not only will this help free the trapped blood in the bruises, it will also help the tight muscles. And should give you some relief from the pain.”

In his mind, Logan takes mental notes while the doctor speaks. Determined that Veronica will get the best care possible. Nobody is ever there to help him when Aaron hurts him. Instead, he pretends the bruises weren’t there. He suffers through Dick's back slaps and grits his teeth instead of wincing. Stories get made up to explain the occasional bruises that show. But not for Ronica. Logan will take care of her and make sure she takes care of herself. He can't make this better, but he can support and help her while she heals. 

Doctor Holiday continues, “Rest is important. If you feel like sleeping, then sleep. Your body will tell you what it needs, and it’s important to listen to it.”

When Veronica inclines her head that she understands, the doctor moves on. “There are some foods that can help promote your body in healing bruises. I’ll make sure you get a list. But to name a few: pineapple, apples, and citrus fruits are good. As are leafy green veggies and lean proteins, and food rich in vitamin K and zinc. They aren’t magic, but they help give your body what's necessary for it to heal itself. I’ll also prescribe a low dose muscle relaxer and pain medication to take if you need them. It’s critical you are careful with these medications and best if you have someone there when you take them.” She glances up at Logan, “They can make you drowsy or light-headed.” 

“There are some topical creams that also may help and you can find in your local pharmacy. I’ll make sure you have a list of those too.”

Veronica’s voice is small, and her head hangs down. “Okay.” 

Doctor Holiday places a hand on her knee again. “I'll say it again. This isn’t your fault, Veronica. You did not cause this, and it’s not fair that you have to deal with not only the event but also the aftermath. I hope you'll consider talking to a therapist, one specializing in trauma therapy. There is no shame in asking for help when we need it. You are a strong young woman, anyone who meets you can see this, but even the strongest of us need to reach out sometimes.” A gentle smile crossed the doctor’s lips. “I’ll let you in on a secret, even I have to.” 

Logan's heart is in his throat and he stops breathing, watching the back and forth between the women.

Her head flies up and Veronica gazes at the doctor with wide eyes. The doctor nods, affirming what she said. “It’s true. I have had things happen I needed help to deal with, and I reached out for help. I still reach out because life can be pretty demanding and ask a lot of us. It’s important for us to have support.” 

Logan squeezes Veronica's hand with care. He hopes she'll listen and consider what Doctor Holiday is saying. The internet already told him that this would be a good idea. Logan has been trying to think of a way to bring up a therapist to Veronica. The doctor may have made the job ten times easier. His eyes study her face and he bites his lip. Praying to whoever is in charge she says yes. ready Letting out a silent sigh of relief when he sees she is listening and considering it. 

After a long pause, she nodded her head. “Yeah- yes, that might be a good idea.” Her beautiful blue eyes close and a few tears slip down her cheeks while she clutches Logan’s hand tighter. “Thank you, doctor.” 

“You’re most welcome, my dear, most welcome. Now, if it’s okay, I need to borrow Logan for a few minutes. I have to get some swabs from him like I did you, for testing, and we’ll get urine samples from both of you. Then together, we’ll do the saliva and blood tests, give you that pill and spring you from this place. We'll have the results of your tests in twenty-four to seventy-two hours. I will call you when we have all your results and give them to you.”

Inclining her head again, Veronica lets go of Logan’s hand, and he stands up. Leaning down, he stops himself before kissing the top of her head. But she closes her eyes and lifts her face with an expectant expression, and Logan takes it as permission. Placing a tender kiss on her forehead and whispering, “I’ll be right back. Think about what you want to teach me to bake first, okay?”

**Have A Little Faith In Me**

Logan opens the passenger door and helps Veronica into the passenger seat, giving her a smile. “Lunch, haircut and then ice cream?” 

A gentle smile flashes across Veronica’s face while she nodded. Logan can see the sadness deep in her eyes, though. The way she struggles, even in brief moments of respite. “That sounds perfect.” 

“What sounds good today, Miss Mars?”

“Italian, of course.” A grin spread across her face and this time her blue eyes light up for a moment at the thought of her favorite food. _Having an appetite is a good sign. It's the first time she's wanted to eat and I haven't had to push her into it._

“Of course m'lady, Luigi’s it is.” He closes her door and makes his way around to the driver's side, the grip on his heart loosening a little.

He turns the key in his beautiful yellow baby, stroking over the steering wheel. Logan catches Veronica rolling her eyes at him and a grin spreads on his face. Turning onto main street, he heads toward the Italian restaurant. It's a quick five-minute drive and they grab a table, ordering without looking at the menu. They both know by heart. Once their salads arrive, they dig in. Even Veronica, who complains about so-called rabbit food, munches with gusto. With each bite she eats, the vice on Logan's ribs loosens a bit more. 

They don't speak until their main courses arrive. Manicotti for Veronica and ravioli for Logan. His lips twitch in a smile at the sounds she makes. After tasting their food, Logan looks over at Veronica. “I was thinking while you were getting your haircut, I could run over and get your prescriptions filled. I could look for some of that cream the doctor recommended, too. That way we won't have to do that after you’re done. We can even grab our Amy’s to-go, so you can get home to rest.”

Veronica swallows the bite of food in her mouth. “That sounds great, thank you, Logan. You've been ama- thank you for everything you've done. I wouldn't have made it through this so far without you to help me.” She doesn't meet his eyes and takes another bit of food, but Logan understands. He can't imagine what it would feel like if someone helped him after one of Aaron's rages. And what she's suffered is so much worse. Taking a drink of water, Veronica's voice is quiet. “I want to take a bath and then a nap once we get home.” 

Nodding his head in agreement, Logan focuses on his food for a moment. A ringing sound brings them both out of their contented state. 

Veronica pulled out her cell phone. “It’s my dad.” Her eyes go wide and her hand trembles. He reaches across the table to take her free one while she answers. 

“Hey dad, catch the bad guy?”

“Oh? Okay, yeah, sure. No, no, you know I’m fine. I have Backup with me.” She glances up at Logan. “I’m okay dad, don’t worry. Yep, love you too. See you in a week.” 

A heavy sigh falls from her as she disconnects the call, and Logan can't decipher what it means. A moment later, she gives him a brief smile. “My dad, he caught the one guy, but there’s another one he needs to go after. This one’s further away, so he’ll be away longer. At least this will give most of my bruises a chance to heal and I won’t have to worry about trying to hide or explain them.”

“Ronica, are you sure you shouldn’t-” 

Her eyes spark, turning a navy blue. “No, Logan. We are not telling my dad about this.” She draws in a deep breath and lets it out through pursed lips. “I’m sorry I yelled. Please Logan, you promised. I will do everything the doctor wants me to do. I’m even willing to give a therapist a shot. I can tell my dad I want to talk to one about- about…” 

“About Lilly?” He supplies and she nods.

“Yeah- about Lilly. But all telling my dad will do is make him mad and send him on a mission to find out whoever did this to kill them. I don’t want my dad in jail and he’s had his life ruined enough. So please, don’t bring it up again.” 

“Okay, Ronica.” The choked whisper doesn’t sound like him, but Logan knows it is.

Deep in his belly, a rage simmers that grows stronger each time he looks into her hurt blue eyes. If she doesn't want to tell Keith to protect him, that’s her call. Veronica needs her dad, he finally understands that. He is going to take care of Veronica, and then Logan will kill the bastard who hurt her. 

What would it matter if his life was over? It’s not like he had any future to look forward to, not like she does. So he's going to make sure she has the future she dreams of, if it was the last thing he does. _I need to find someone who can help me put the money into an account for her college. Veronica will never have to worry about having the money to go wherever she wants to go._

Neither speak after this, and they finish their meal in silence. It isn't a comfortable silence of friends, nor is it the uncomfortable silence of being with an enemy. Logan’s thinking on how he can make life better for Veronica. He knows she will only accept so much help, so he has to be careful. But there must be a way to set up funds that can't trace back to him that will help the Mars family. 

He recognizes that making true amends isn't about throwing money at a problem. The two of them need to talk about so much, but not yet. Veronica is still fragile, whether she's acknowledging it. The watchwords are patience and care right now. 

After Logan pays the bill, he helps her up and out to his truck, again assisting her into the passenger seat. It doesn't escape his notice that she's moving stiffly, like she's in more pain. He closes the door, wondering if he can convince her to postpone the haircut until tomorrow when a sound catches his attention. He turns to find Dick Casablancas, Madison Sinclair, Pam Johnson, John Enbom, Meg Manning and Duncan Kane staring at him agog.

Madison is the first to recover. “Logan Echolls! What are you doing? Why are you with her?” 

His eyes narrow, first glancing at Dick and then over at them all. “Did you not hear that Veronica Mars is off limits? And I’ll spend my time with whom I like, Madison. That’s not up for you to decide or question.”

Everyone but Madison and Duncan nod. Madison's eyes narrow further. “Why would you want to spend time with that slu-”

Voice ice cold and hard, Logan stops her. “If I were you Madison, I would shut your mouth before the rest of that word crosses your lips. If I catch you spreading rumors about Veronica, hurting her, or calling her names, I'll make you sorry. I’ll make it so you’ll have no choice but to transfer to some private school or Pan High.” 

The tall blond’s mouth drops open in shock before she glares at Dick. Clearing his throat, Dick steps forward, his hands out in a placating manner. “Hey, we get it. But you can see why we’re a little confused, can’t you? Three days ago she was enemy number one.” 

Logan runs his hands through his hair, scratching his neck, and sighs. “Yeah, I get it. Listen, all of you, and spread the word. I was wrong. I'm an asshole. Pissed off about Lilly, I didn’t know how to handle it. What Mr. Mars did made me furious. But I shouldn’t have taken it out on Veronica. Can you imagine what Lilly would do to us if she could right now for the way we’ve treated her? It’s not right or fair, and I’m putting a stop to it.”

Murmurs go through the small crowd, most nodding. Madison steps forward in defiance and stomps her foot. “I will not let her back into this group. She never belonged with us!” 

“Madison, if you have an issue with Veronica, leave. Evaporate or something. And that goes for anyone who has an issue with her, so tell everyone. If you have a problem with Veronica, you have a problem with me. I will allow no one to hurt her anymore.”

Logan glances over at the one person in the group who has remained quiet through all this. His eyes zeroing in on his best friend, he’s taken aback.

Duncan has a deep scowl on his face, hands stuffed in his pockets. His beady eyes aren't focused on Logan, though. They're focused on Veronica cowering in the front seat. With his own scowl, Logan steps to the side, blocking Duncan’s view. The boy glances at Logan with narrowed eyes, says nothing, and turns on his heel, walking away. The others look back and forth between the two and then shrug. Everyone used to Duncan's moods by now. 

“See you around, Logan.” John nods and Logan inclines his head back. Several other goodbye’s follow until only Dick and Madison remain. Huffing, the blond turns on her heel and stomps away. Dick gives his friend a grin and a “what can you do” shrug of his shoulders before heading away too. 

Logan hurries around to the driver’s side and slides in. Veronica huddles in the passenger’s seat. She has tears streaming down her face and her body shakes with violent shudders. 

His eyes widen, and he reacts, wrapping his arms around her. Being careful, he brings her over the console and to his lap, rocking them in his seat. “Hey, hey, it’s okay, Ronica. Shh, what has you so upset?”

“Your friends- they’re.. Maybe this isn’t a good-” 

He knew where she was heading and cut her off. “This is a good idea. They’ll adjust. You know what a fickle bunch we rich kids are. It’s going to be fine, don’t worry.”

“But D-Duncan and Madison.” 

“Since when have you cared what Madison Sinclair thought. Lilly taught you better than that.” He smiles at her, thumbs brushing away tears on her soft cheeks, and then sighs. “Don’t worry about Duncan, he’s well- a zombie. I don’t even think he’s capable of getting upset anymore.”

Veronica curls as much into a ball as she is able. He keeps his arms around her, continuing to rock and talk in soft tones until the shaking subsided.

Bringing his hand up. Logan smoothes back her hair. “Still want to get a haircut today?” 

Her hands wipe away the last traces of tears and Veronica nods her head. “Yeah, I do. Thanks, Logan. For everything.” The last part causes her cheeks to turn pink, and her gaze only darts to his for a second. “I’m okay now.”

As much as he doesn't want to, his arms release her, and she crawls over to the passenger seat again. Wincing now that she isn't so upset that it drowns out the pain. Logan watches, mind whirling when it stumbles on an idea. He pulls out his cell and dials, waiting for the person to pick up. 

“Hey mom, how is the trip going? Yeah? That’s good. Uh- I was wondering if you could do me a favor? Well, Veronica has decided it’s time to shake things up a bit and wants to cut her hair. I don’t think any regular stylist should touch it. Mmm-hmm, no, I completely agree. You will? Thanks so much. Great, I’ll wait for your call back. Thanks mom.”

Her head tilts and her eyes watch him with interest. He grins as he hangs up. “We need to wait a couple of minutes, my mom is putting a call in to her salon to get you in.” 

“Oh! She doesn't have to do that, Logan! We can go to the Cost Cutters-”

“V’ronica, if you want to cut your hair, I will support you. It’s your hair and you should do what you want with it. But, if you’re going to cut it, then I have to insist it be by someone who knows what they are doing and won’t mangle the job. Besides, my mom is so excited and said she can’t wait to see your new look when she gets back from her trip.” 

Her eyes narrow, “You know, I’ve been letting you get your way an awful lot these last couple of days.” 

“It’s usually the best thing to do. Otherwise I get cranky and you know what a cranky me can get up to.” Logan keeps a straight face, giving a solemn nod. 

“Don’t think this is going to continue, mister! I’ll do this, but you can’t keep spending money on me like this.” 

“Why not? It’s not like I don’t have plenty of it and Ronica, you have never once asked me for a single thing. I know you have never been my friend because of who my parents are or the money. That’s why I love being able to do things like this for you.” He turns his so-called puppy dog gaze on her and watches as she swallows several times.

“Well, I guess this is okay, but this is a unique circumstance, Logan, understand? Our friendship has never and will never be because of money.” 

He nods, managing to hold back his smirk, which would ruin the entire effect.

The phone rings, breaking the spell, and he picks it up. Lynn relays Julian will be happy to take care of Veronica. And he has an opening in fifteen minutes if they can make it. Logan assures her they can and they disconnect. 

“Alright Rapunzel, let’s go cut off your locks!” He turns the key, starting his truck.

“Logan?”

“Yeah?” Logan glances over at her.

She smiles. “You’re ridiculous, you know that, right?” 

“But it’s cute.” He bats his eyelashes obnoxiously at her. 

Veronica presses her lips together, and he thinks she's holding in a smile. Her eyes roll in a way that would put Lilly's eye rolls to shame. “Mmm… okay, keep telling yourself that.” 

“Don’t worry, I do. Every day and twice on Sundays!” He throws her a wink before taking a right at the corner. 

“Geez, you’re incorrigible!” 

Keeping his left on the wheel, he presses his right hand to his chest. “Is that your nice way of calling me a jackass?” 

Her laughter fills the car and Logan’s heart sings with the sound. This banter is familiar. It was the way they were before everything went to hell.

Hope blooms and some weight slips from Logan’s shoulders. Things will always be different, but different doesn't have to be bad. What if they find a new way? A new friendship?

If he can get her to have a little faith in him again, he'll show her it's deserved. Then he'll earn even more until that little bit grows into a lot. A little bit of faith, that’s all it will take. Veronica seems to still have some left in or she wouldn’t let him do this. She wouldn't let him stay, wouldn’t trust him with what happened, and to take care of her. Yes, a little faith still exists. As they drive, Veronica switches it over to a classic rock station and Joe Cocker’s _Have A Little Faith In Me_ comes on. Logan turns the music up and sings at the top of his lungs. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title for this chapter comes from the song Have A Little Faith In Me by Joe Cocker. It's a beautiful song if you've never heard it.
> 
> Dr. Holiday's name actually comes from Billie Holiday, not because of the season.
> 
> The taser story is a true story. Not that I was ever dumb enough to do it, but someone close to me did.


End file.
